5 Questions to ask before you submit that novel

Isn’t it time you put yourself in the reader’s place when you write?

Before you send your hard work off to a publisher or agent, try and put yourself in the footsteps of a reader.

Ask yourself these 5 questions –

1. If you were a reader would the opening engage you and make you want to read on?  If it wouldn’t then maybe you need a rewrite/a change of POV/to start in another place.
2. Are you relying on your brilliant fifth or eleventh chapter for them to say yes? If you are then you need to look at your opening again. Well, would you keep on reading a novel out of the prospect of it getting better later on? I know I wouldn’t. There are too many good books and not enough time.
3. Does every chapter move the story on? If it doesn’t, can you do without it? Who wants to read padding? 
4. Have you added something new to the genre, so a reader can say,’ yes, that book’s about a detective whose partner still helps him to solve crimes despite being in a catatonic state.’ Incidentally that’s what my WIP crime novel Vile City is about. You need something distinctive that’s your own.
5. Remember, that most of all publishers are looking for books they know people will want to read. Is your book one of them? If it’s not, try and rework it or start again. As difficult as that is – hey, I’ve been there, blubbing as I cut my wonderful prose – sometimes it is necessary. All of the best authors have manuscripts gathering dust in a drawer that won’t be published.

As I write this, I am waiting for the opportunity to gut my WIP so that when I ask myself those 5 questions I can come up with satisfying answers. Wish me luck. Think I am going to need it!

Isn't it time you got into international cinema?

The bizarre world of the ticket inspector in Kontroll

I love foreign language films that are so good that you almost forget you are reading subtitles. Movies so good that you remember them long after you watch them.

I wrote about 7 of the very best for Shadowlocked.com. If you like the sound of them the article includes links to trailers.

Check it out at  http://www.shadowlocked.com/201106021871/lists/7-foreign-language-films-that-are-worth-the-subtitles.html 

Writing Fit

Apparently living on 4 hours sleep, codeine (for a clicking jaw) & Irn Bru (the real national drink of Scotland) isn't healthy.

Who’d have thought it?  On the plus side I don’t smoke or drink, which probably makes me a bad writer type as many of the great writers did. 

So, I'm on a health kick.   

This consists of –

• Trying to wean myself off Irn Bru (the sugar laden drink from Barrs).  This isn’t easy.  The Bru is like crack cocaine to me.
• Starting to do more exercise. I walk for miles with the dog every day and have inner thigh muscles of steel, but that is clearly not enough. So, I have began doing one of the 10 Minute Solutions DVDs. Target Toning is meant to be toning for beginners.
• Trying to con myself into believing I don’t like chocolate. I have shown remarkable restraint. My proof is the big bar of Galaxy that’s still sitting in my kitchen.
• I have started listening to Paul McKenna’s I Can Make You Thin hypnosis tape. In the absence of him being willing to pay for extensive liposuction I listen to the tape. The weird thing is it works. The day after I’ve listened to it I find myself eating less.

Now, if only I had time to listen to the tape more.

It's stormy here on this island

Today on the Isle of Cumbrae where I live, I woke up to this -

And this....

Makes us realise just how small we all are.

Is there such a thing as method writing?

With method acting, actors try and create the same emotions in themselves as their characters feel. I try to do the same with my writing.

For instance
- if I have a character who is trapped and starving, I try to pretend I feel the same way. I will write that part whilst I'm hungry even if it means not eating anything for the rest of the day.

- if my character is thirsty, even if I  need a drink I won't take one.

- if they're scared I will try to go back to a time in my life when I was also scared. I will go to that place in my head and try and recreate it. How did I feel, what was the helplessness like, what range of emotions did I go through, did the fear have a smell, a taste? How did my mind and my body react to it?

- if they're cold, then I will be cold. We're in this together - me and the character I've created, so why should I sit in comfort whilst they suffer? 

The Versatile blogger award - Thanks Carol

Many thanks to Carol for passing on the Versatile Blogger Award.  In line with tradition, I'm listing 7 (Hopefully) interesting things about myself. 

1-I love zombie movies. The gorier the better and am working on a zombie novel. The weird thing is I'm a vegetarian and can think of nothing worse than being a zombie. 

2-I thought I'd hit it big when I invented a football themed boardgame when I was 19. The company loved it and were talking enough money for me to buy a flat, but then they went bust.

3-I have recently discovered Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer books and I absolutely love them. His dialogue is so wonderful you don't need loads of speech tags.

4-My biggest regret in life was not getting to interview Hurricane Higgins the snooker player. I had an interview set up via his agent (this is over ten years ago, now) when he did one of his famous walkabouts and couldn't be found.

5-I live in Scotland (on an island called the Isle of Cumbrae) and think its the most beautiful country in the world. I would never leave it to live anywhere else. I have nightmares of dying outside my beloved country and not being able to get home. I also love my country's sense of humour. We laugh at everything.

6-I used to work in a pyschiatric hospital laundry. One day a colleague found a scalpel in a doctor's coat and sliced off her finger.

7-I love the gory books that Shaun Hutson writes. Books like Slugs and Relics. His books have very little characterisation, but boy do they entertain. That to me should be the one thing books should be - entertaining.

Can The Office survive without Steve Carell?

I hope the show can survive without Steve Carell, but its doubtful.

To my mind, Will Ferrell, has been a disappintment and the last episode (the first without Carell was truly awful). In fact, I cheered when DeAngelo Vickers hurt himself. 

Here's what some of the critics thought of Ferrell's first outing in The Office - http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/will-ferrell-office-what-critics-178751

I thought it was a fitting end to Michael Scott's time at in The Office, but could they have ended it some other way?

I think so.

Check out my piece at Shadowlocked.com for some ideas - http://www.shadowlocked.com/201105081800/lists/4-ways-steve-carells-time-on-the-office-could-have-ended.html 

What do you think? How would you have ended Michael Scotts' time on the show?

Should he be with Holly or Dwight? Well, the man love has always been there.

Could Jan have come back on the scene, baby in tow, saying its Michael's?