Everybody Say EE - my Nightmare with my EE mobile phone

Finally, after a nightmare three years with Orange after they became EE. Or, was it longer?

When they were Orange, the mobile phone company's service was good, then EE came along. Uh, uh. Cue the horror music.

1. Topping up became almost impossible. Couldn't do it by text. It wouldn't recognise the credit card I'd been topping my phone up with for two years.

2. Getting a balance became impossible. "Sorry, we can't tell you your balance at the moment" became the stock response.

3. Their website where you can top up and check your balance was ALWAYS down. It never worked properly in 2 whole years.

4. I was on the Dolphin plan. Regularly top up by ten pounds and you're meant to get free texts. On too many occasions to count, I didn't get my free texts. Sometimes they were days late.

5. My boyfriend's phone (bought under my name) was stolen. I reported it to EE and they cancelled it. They were meant to transfer the remaining balance to his new phone. They didn't. He had £7.50 left. Not tonnes of money, but £7.50 is better in his pocket than EE's.

Think about how much cash EE must have in their bank account from the phones of customers whose phones have been lost or stolen. Say 10, 000 customers lose/have their phones stolen with a balance of £7.50. That's £75k they've got of OUR MONEY!

6. I phoned to top up my boyfriend's PAYG phone. I got the Indian call centre, explained his phone had been stolen and he had a new phone from EE and I wanted to top that up. THEY TOPPED UP THE WRONG PHONE!

I got my own Nokia 5800 PAYG phone unlocked from their network, but only after a big song and dance.

After a week, they told me I didn't have enough credit in my phone to cover the unlocking fee when I did. TWICE. I topped up before I put in my order. So, two weeks were wasted because of EE's mistake.

I contacted them on Twitter and through the form on their website. Twitter EE were hopeless. I had to wait two weeks to finally get a reply.

I had to phone customer service. Oh no! I got their overseas call centre (India, I think). After several times of being cut off by them or waiting 30 minutes and losing the will to live, I finally got through.

The person didn't know what unlocking meant. When I explained, he couldn't believe I would want to leave their "fine network." Finally, after lots of waiting, he said he'd email me the unlock code.

The code didn't arrive.

They sent me the wrong code. They missed out vital instructions.

Everybody say EE! 

Editing for authors - Have you bawled at the muddle with your puddle?

Going through your work, bit by bit can be a long and laborious process, but you have to get it right. 

Who wants to press that SEND button and then discover after that you've used there instead of their, or changed character names halfway through a chapter? 

Here's some examples from my latest book, the 2nd Detective in a Coma book, Cannibal City. Read them and weep with laughter fellow writers and readers -

His fist bawled into a fist.

Oops, sounds like his fist was crying.

It's not a puddle it's a muddle.

He landed his size 12 loafers in a muddle.

It was me that got in a muddle because I meant puddle. 

He shoved tape over her mouth and she could hardly breathe and she screamed.

That takes some doing screaming when you're gagged. Of course, she could scream under the gag.

I've also had people coming out of doors they never went in. My personal favourite was a dead man coming back to life and, no it wasn't my zombie novel Dead Bastards. This was another crime novel:) 

I'd love to hear what mistakes you've spotted in your work. Have you bawled at the muddle with your puddle? 

Please leave a comment so we can chortle away together.