Tales and thoughts from the coal face of writing and life from Scottish crime writer Jennifer Lee Thomson.
Thursday 3 May 2018
Wednesday 21 March 2018
WHO TOOK OFFICE WORKER SHELLEY CRAIG? An extract from Vile City by Jennifer Lee Thomson
Vile City tells the story of abducted office Shelley Craig and Detective Inspectorworker Duncan Waddell's attempts to find her.
Vile City is published by Diamond Crime and is available now in paper⁸ back and in eBook (across a⁸ range of formats).
~ Read an extract ~
Chapter 1
Stuart was hiding something. Shelley could tell. She was always the one who'd had to wake him because he could always block out the shrill of the alarm clock, but these days he was up before her, grabbing the mail whilst she slept. And, he’d started making breakfast – nothing much, just tea and toast, but that was more than he’d ever made her in their two and a bit years together.
When she'd calmly ask him if anything was wrong, he’d shrug his shoulders, give her a wee smile and say everything was fine. But, she knew he was lying because his face went even paler, making his freckles stand out as if they'd been drawn in by a kid with a coloured pencil. She never pushed it, maybe because deep down she was worried that he’d tell her he’d met someone else.
The No.76 bus was empty when they clambered onboard - one of the benefits of working until 11 at night in a call centre, was that there was no need to scoot past a sea of legs and become a contortionist to get on and off a bus.
Their cold breath filled the air with ghosts as they walked towards Waterstone’s, Shelley pausing to take a peek at the new crime fiction releases showcased in the illuminated windows, whilst Stuart fidgeted with his watch. He was always footering about with something since he’d given up cigarettes⁸ and it drove her mad, but at least it didn’t fill his lungs with tar and make the house smell like an overflowing ashtray.
“I need to have a pee,” he announced, as they came to the dimly lit lane off Mitchell Street that reeked of eau de Glasgow: decomposing takeaway, urine and other bodily fluids.
She groaned. “Can't you wait until we get home, Stuart?” She knew she’d pronounced his name “Stew-art” as she always did when she was annoyed with him, but she couldn’t help it. What made men think it was okay to urinate in public?
Stuart looked pained. “Sorry, I can’t. Too much coffee tonight.”
She let him walk on ahead of her and whilst he scooted down the alley, she stood outside the amusement arcade, pretending to look in so she wouldn’t be mistaken as a prostitute. Around here, at this time of night, unaccompanied women were likely to be mistaken for prostitutes. It'd happened to her once when she'd got off the bus alone. Stuart hadn't been working that night.
Five minutes later, she was so cold she couldn't feel her nose and Stuart still wasn’t back.
She turned the corner to look for him, fully expecting to see him ambling back towards her with that jaunty walk that always made her smile. But, he wasn't there.
Where was he?
Anger welled up in her chest. Had he started smoking again? He swore he wouldn't.
There was one way to find out.
She headed down the alley. The sole light was provided from some nearby buildings so visibility was poor.
She’d walked a few steps when she spotted a bundle of rags on the ground. Was someone sleeping there?
She moved closer. Squinting into the dim light, she realised it was Stuart. He was lying motionless on the ground. He must have tripped and knocked himself out after hitting the concrete.
She ran over to him, calling out his name, the squeezing in her chest waning slightly when she knelt down and heard him groan.
She pulled her mobile phone from her bag to call for an ambulance.
She didn’t make it to the third digit. A gloved hand clamped across her mouth and nose, cutting off her airways and the phone fell from her grasp, clattering onto the cobbles. Terror gripped her and she couldn’t breathe.
As she struggled, her assailant pressed his mouth to her ear. He was so close that it occurred to her that if anyone saw them they would think he was her boyfriend whispering sweet nothings in her ear.
“Your man’s been given a strong sedative. He’ll wake up with a sore head and nothing more. But, if you scream, I’ll kick him several times in the head and he’ll never get up again. Do you understand?”
She didn’t recognise the voice, but there was an accent. Not from around here. His voice was cold and emotionless.
She nodded under his hand. Then she did something he didn't expect: she back-heeled him in the groin.
There was a satisfying yelp as he released her.
She ran, arms pumping away like Usain Bolt’s, down towards the cafĂ© at the end of the alley and safety.
She'd almost made it when he grabbed her arm and hauled her back. An electric shock shot from her elbow to her shoulder as she pulled herself free. He was too strong.
She could offer little resistance as he dragged her towards him.
Before she could scream, he punched her fully in the face and she went down with a thud jarring every bone in her body, momentarily stunning her.
As she fought to get up, he punched her in the back and she fell again.
The last thing she saw was the pavement rushing towards her before she blacked out...
TO BE CONTINUED...
Thursday 15 March 2018
Thanks to everyone who bought Living Cruelty Free I've donated to Network for Animals
Thanks to everyone who bought Living Cruelty Free I've donated to Network for Animals who help neglected and abused animals around the world.
You can read more about this amazing organization here https://networkforanimals.org/uk/donate/ via @network4animals
Give yourself a hand, folks. |
So, give yourself a hand, folks. Together WE can help change the world by doing it one little bit at a time.
About the book
Living Cruelty Free Live a More Compassionate life is available in paperback and on Kindle. The book offers tips and advice on how we can be kinder to animals and each other and live an all round kinder life.
Paperback
Kindle
Monday 5 February 2018
From Orange is the new black to Community - Let's potato chips- the fake brand tv shows love
Chances are if you've watched any American comedy you'll
have seen the characters eating Let's potato chips.
Whether you've seen them being eaten in shows like Orange is the New Black, Arrested
Development, The Middle, Ugly Betty, My Name is Earl or Community, you might
have found yourself saying like I did: "Mmmm, they look nice - I fancy a
bag."
It's when you start looking for Let's potato chips that you
hit a rather large snag.
It might surprise you to know - because it sure surprised me
- that they're a fake brand that are manufactured and sold by a company called
ISS Prop House.
What's more, they don't come cheap and cost 40 dollars for a
big bag and 20 dollars for a small bag. So, no spilling any of those lovely
chips, TV show stars because they quite literally cost a packet.
Community is one show that used the chips frequently
throughout the show’s six season (and hopefully a movie) run. The diva of a
Dean is often seen eating them as is Abed and his pal Troy . Abed's favourite TV show also features
Let's potato chips.
In The Middle siblings Axl and Sue Heck even share a bag.
Well, kinda. Axl's not the sharing type.
As well as Let's potato chips, creators ISS Prop House also
have a huge collection of props as well as doing a large range of snacks and
drinks like Henry's chocolate bars, Hooskerdoo cookies, Tit For Tat bars and
Rocky Road ice cream among others.
You can read more about Independent Studio Services and the
props they offer here.
According to their site, Let's potato chips come in 3
different flavours and are available for when TV show makers want their actors
to get their snack on.
Note - The copyright for Let's potato chips belongs to ISS.
Wednesday 10 January 2018
How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks heads from Shotgun Honey Out Dec 28th, 2018
Kirsty's loosely based on Rose McGowan's character Cherry Darling |
I'm delighted to announce that I've just signed a deal with kick
ass publisher Shotgun Honey to publish How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks.
The novella introduces you to one-legged Glasgow barmaid Kirsty who goes on the run
with a gangster's safe load of cash and gun after killing one of his security
men with a stiletto heel to the skull.
Why should you want to read How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks?
It’s got a kick ass hero in Kirsty. She may have one leg -
the other one was amputated after an accident - but she knows how to kick some
serious butt.
She's loosely based on Rose McGowan's character Cherry
Darling in Planet Terror and in Grindhouse.
There's an amazing cake that you jump out that features in a
major scene in the book. Click here to read more on my blog about these pop up cakes.
There's enough twists and turns to bend your mind.
When will it be published?
How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks will be published on December 28th 2018.
Stay tuned for more details.
Friday 21 July 2017
K.I.S.S - Keep It Simple Stupid
I was working on a bit in my zombie novel Dead Bastards where certain characters need to be in a specific place at a particular time.
I've spent weeks fretting over this, picking the brains of friends and family; it's given me sleepless nights and I’m at the stage where I feel like my brain is about to explode.
Dewey - "Malcolm, in school we learned the coolest thing: there were these people that did this broadcast to convince everyone that aliens were landing. So what we do is wait for Reese to fall asleep, then we flash some lights outside his window then we go to the TV, but we'll have already made a tape..."
I've spent weeks fretting over this, picking the brains of friends and family; it's given me sleepless nights and I’m at the stage where I feel like my brain is about to explode.
Then last night I realised one thing: I was over-thinking it.
Readers don’t need you to tell them everything. When there are blanks they’ll fill them in and they’ll probably do it even better than you could have ever written it.
Readers don’t need you to tell them everything. When there are blanks they’ll fill them in and they’ll probably do it even better than you could have ever written it.
Don't over-think thinks like Malcolm In The Middle's Dewey |
This realisation got me thinking of one of my favourite ever moments in one of my favourite shows. In Malcolm in the Middle, the youngest brother Dewey comes up with an elaborate ploy to convince idiot brother Reece that the aliens have arrived.
Dewey - "Malcolm, in school we learned the coolest thing: there were these people that did this broadcast to convince everyone that aliens were landing. So what we do is wait for Reese to fall asleep, then we flash some lights outside his window then we go to the TV, but we'll have already made a tape..."
Malcolm – "Dewey, you're totally over-thinking this. Reese, aliens landed down the street!"
And right enough, Reece comes running into the room wearing a mask and wielding a baseball bat and shouting "it’s every man for himself."
Monday 10 July 2017
The Walking Dead gets real in Scotland - Dead Bastards is now 99c 99p
"Enough gore to satisfy the hungriest zombie fan."
To celebrate the return of Fear The Walking Dead, Dead Bastards is now just 0.99. That's just 99 cents or 99p.
That's a whole lot of zombie action for less than the price of a cup of coffee.
LINKS
You can grab the book here -
Here's what one reviewer said about Dead Bastards
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