Rip it up and start again - your novel might be better for it

There's nothing worse than working hard into the wee small hours, making yourself so tired you don't just have grey bags under your eyes you have saucers, only to get two thirds of the way through writing your novel and finding yourself shaking your head. 

You know something is wrong with your novel. Thankfully you realise what it is.

You might have taken the wrong turn in the plot or given a character way too much of the story that they haven't earned (if you've watched the 3rd season of 13 Reasons Why and met the new narrator Ani you'll know what I mean).

Of course you could ignore this feeling in your gut that your book isn't quite right. Then you could end up sending it to a critique agency when publishers and agents turn it down, which is very expensive, only to be probably told what you already knew - that a part of your book wasn't working. 

Something you knew already but couldn't face acknowledging. 

Getting over the finishing line isn't what it's all about

Instead of spending money you probably haven't got ask yourself this (I look like I'm shouting but I  need to be reminded of this too) ask yourself this   -

IS IT BETTER TO GET THAT BOOK WRITTEN THAN IT IS TO GET IT WRITTEN TO THE VERY BEST IT CAN BE?

Sure, getting that novel finished is your goal, but you want it to be as good as it can possibly be so it gets a publisher or you get an agent, or you self-publish a good novel. 

That may mean either cutting swathes of text or even ripping it up and starting again. 

Be brave. Good writing is fearless. It often comes from knowing when to reach for that delete key or recycle bin.

Why I watch #truecrime

I don't watch #truecrime out of some macabre fascination. To hear gruseome details of how people were hurt.

No, I watch because whilst I do the people who were murdered who never got justice are alive and its like they're telling me "I matter, don't let people forget me."

I hope someone is watching who can get them justice so they can rest in peace.  

The Demoralised writer - Sometimes being a writer is like a punch in the face

Sometimes being a writer is like a punch in the face

You've done everything right. You've read the publisher's guidelines in so much depth you can recite them in your sleep. 

You've jumped through the hoops they've put in front of you - they want the first three chapters or first 10,000 words or first 3,000, they want a synopsis of 500/1000 words, they want ideas for the next two books in the series, they want a map of your DNA...You get the idea.

And you do all that. You tailor your manuscript submission to them. Your pitch letter. 

You might even have a personal connection to the publisher and you mention that in your pitch letter.

Now that you have a submission tailored to the publisher you send it off. You cross your fingers and toes and sit back and wait.

Book submissions are like obstacle courses

You expect a bit of a wait. Publishers are busy people. They get a lot of submissions. 

You know from reading their blogs and tweets that a lot of the submissions they get are unsuitable for very obvious reasons -
They don't follow their guidelines.
They're not the types or genres of books they publish.
They're rude, extolling the virtues of the author and saying how lucky the publisher would be to publish their work. 
They're riddled with errors, spelling mistakes.

But your submission should be okay because you've followed their guidelines to a tee. 

You've sent them the kind of book they do publish. 

You've been polite.

But then you get the dreaded email - Thanks for sending your submission in but it's not quite right for us.

No reason is given. You get the distinct feeling that they didn't even read it. 

You get the same generic response as a totally unprepared author, who sent them a submission written on the back of a cigarette packet. 

You know they're busy, but even a quick "we've published too many similar books like this" or "your writing needs some work" would be polite, at least acknowledging the work you've put into your book proposal.

Instead you're left demoralized wondering why did you bother? 

Why did you spend so much time tailoring your proposal, editing that book, doing everything (at least) as far as you know right just to get that dreaded standard letter?

Did they even read it? 

At times like this you have to remember -

*It's not personal. The person who responded is probably busy or overworked or going on holiday and clearing their desk. 

*They might just not be taking on any other books right now although they could just say that.

And here's the nuclear option- 
*Maybe your book isn't good enough. Get another opinion, a professional opinion if you can. A good option if you're well off and can afford it because its expensive. 

If like me you're not and you can't try a peer to peer critique forum where fellow authors read your work. Be warned it can be difficult to find a good one. 

If you think your work is good and publishable now ask yourself this -
Is it really such a bad thing you got a rejection? 

If they pay so little attention to your hard work, how much detail would they pay to editing, marketing and promotion if they had said they'd publish your book? 
Sometimes no publisher is better than a bad one. 

Tell me your stories 
I'd love to hear your stories of how you cope when you get that dreaded standard email. How do you pick yourself up again and does chocolate or wine work?

Finishing that novel - 2 things you must do

When you first start writing your novel it's all new. You have an unbridled enthusiasm and are bursting with ideas. You can barely contain the words as they come trundling out.

Even some normal, mundane task like washing the dishes can bring forth another twist or thing to add to your story.

Then comes the inevitable (at least for me) mid-novel slump where you start to question everything.

Have you chosen the right story?

Is the main character you crafted the kind that will appeal to readers?

Are you even the right person to write this novel?

Doubt hits you like a sledge hammer. This is the stage where you're just as likely to trash your manuscript as submit it to a publisher or agent.

Step away from that novel. Have a break. Have a holiday even if its just from your novel.

Give yourself some distance before you start to edit your novel. Your finished product will thank you.

Before you get down to the final edit after you've set the book aside for some timehere are two things you must do-

1. Print the whole book out - Often on screen you see what should be there instead of what is actually there. That's why it's a good idea to have a hard copy in front of you.

Tip - If you want to be environmental friendly try putting your book on your tablet or mobile phone to edit it. You will notice any mistakes better if you fo this.

2. Cut what doesn't work - It may be one of the best bits of writing you've ever produced, but does it work in this novel?

Be ruthless.

Ditch it. Don't look back.

Good luckxxx

Can you write when you're depressed?

Over recent months I've found myself hitting the wall when it comes to my writing as lifes constant punches leave me reeling. 

At times writing my latest big novel (you know the one you think will get you a book deal at least in the five figures and make you a household name at long last) has hit the buffers so many time I'm thinking of renaming it Stuttering to a Stop.

Some people might call it writers' block - that condition some people believe doesn't exist - but I know its depression. 

When you have depression it can be hard enough getting up in the morning far less crafting captivating text.

So how do you carry on writing when you're depressed? 

First of all have you been to see your doctor? Treatment can help ease your depression although it doesn't work for everyone. 

1. Be kind to yourself - So you haven't hit that two thousand words a day target you set for yourself or made that massive breakthrough in the plot that will have you manically dancing around the room. But you have reformatted that tricky paragraph or realised your killer's name shouldn't sound too much like they belong in a cartoon. 

Even baby steps deserve credit. Pat yourself on the back now. 

2. Take a walk - Familiarity breeds content and that can apply to your own novel. You're so close to it, every word has bled out onto that page forever imprinted in your consciousness. You can get to that stage where you think I've written a load of rubbish and want to delete it or if you're old school toss that novel in the trash. 

Please don't.

Take a deep breath. Then go for a walk. 

I have a rescue dog called Harley who spent the first six months of his life stuck in a house and never taken for a walk. He's now more than happy to sprint/saunter along for miles and be a sounding board for my latest novel. 

The last thought is a lie. 

3. Get talking to other writers on Twitter or writers' message boards - You're not the first to suffer from depression and talking to others who have suffered too can be helpful. 

4. Write a blog post - It can be short and sweet but managing to do any writing at all when you're depressed is an achievement. It can also have help kick start the writing you're doing on that larger project like your novel.

Who is Ed Kemper aka the Co-ed Killer in Mindhunter?

With Mindhunter returning to Netflix people are asking who is Ed Kemper aka the Co-ed Killer.

Here are 5 things you might not know about the giant serial killer -

1. Kemper is a giant at 6foot 9 and was teased about it at school and by his family including his elder sister who allegedly tried to push him in front of a train and also tried to drown him.

2. His mother Clarnell Elizabeth Kemper was an alcoholic drunk who despised her son. He later killed her.

3. When he was a child he already showed signs of being a serial killer. He would decapitate his sister's dolls, torture and kill animals and ask his sister to play an electric chair game where she'd pretend to electrocute him.

4. He's called the Co-ed Killer because most of his victims were young women students at co-educational establishments. He targeted them when they were hitchhiking and would drive them to secluded spots where he'd decapitate, dismember and violate them.

5. When he was 15 he murdered his grandparents and was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic and sent to a psychiatric hospital. Had he not been released at the age of 21 he wouldn't have gone on to murder his mother,  her friend and the six students.

6. At one stage he wanted to be a police officer, but he was rejected because of his huge size. He still made friends with cops by hanging out with them at a bar and was given the nickname Big Ed.

Meet my writing mouse - everybody else has a muse

Every other writer has a muse. I have this wee guy - a mouse.
#amwriting 

Only in a parallel universe could Netflix kill The OA

Like every other fan of the wonderfully twisty, time travelling drama The OA I was  saddened to see the show being cancelled  after just two seasons by Netflix. 

The so-called champions of new shows and the amazing people who create them have cancelled a truly one of a kind show beloved by critics and fans in equal measure. And we are damn angry. 

What makes the cancellation such a bitter pill to swallow is that right now we need a show like The OA especially at a time when we've waved goodbye to another popular show with a stellar and diverse cast Orange is the New Black. 

Both shows are the perfect antidote to the big bad in the White House Donald Trump who tells people who were born in the USA to go back home (but would never dream of saying that to his non-US born wife because she's white). 

A man who is the pin up boy for the racist extremists like the racist coward who went on a shooting rampage in El Paso, a place that was apparently deliberately targeted because of its high Hispanic population. Or if you want to put it another way because it'd a high percentage of non-whites. 

A man who's cohorts seem to want to turn the land of the free into their own version of The Handmaid's Tale by cutting off women's rights to choose abortion. 

The OA has the kind of diverse cast that's under attack in the USA right now. The transgender community is represented by the wonderful Ian Alexander as Buck/Michelle Vu.

The Latino American community by gay boy genius French played brilliantly by Brandon Perea.

Disaffected youth by the extremely likeable Patrick Gibson who plays Steve. 

Phyllis Smith from The Office is handed the best role I've ever seen for a mature woman as Betty Broderick-Allen (or BBA for short).  The way she saves Steve from wayward teens camp (it looks more like parent sponsored kidnapping) still makes me smile. 

In the OA's world you can change the world and you don't do it with hate speech or bullets, you do it with love and some tai chi style movements. The way the gang stopped what would have been a mass school shooting was nothing short of genius. 

Maybe in another dimension The OA does still exist on Netflix and there's a season 3, then 4 and 5 on its way as was planned. I'll keep meeting my friends to do the movements just in case I can reunite Prairie and Homer once again. 

Until then The OA will continue to live in all of us privileged enough to watch it thanks to its amazing creators Brit Marling  and Zal Batmanglij.

Cakes you jump out of (yes, really)

Hopefully the person jumping out of your cake won't look as bored as these two!

For a major scene in my book, How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks, I wanted my main character Kirsty to try and get close enough to someone who would immediately have her killed if he saw her.

I racked my brains about how to do this without her being found out and when it emerged he was having a birthday party, I thought it would be awesome if she could hide in a cake.

I don’t know about you, but I have never seen anyone jump out of a cake before, so I didn’t know where to start.  That’s when the good old Internet came to the rescue.   

Here are some fun facts I discovered -

It's actually quite straightforward to hire a pop out cake, as cakes designed for jumping out of are called.

Pop out cake are usually three tier cakes that resemble wedding cakes, you can even make your own. They can also be square.

Note, I said make and not bake your own because the only similarity between these cakes and real ones is the edible frosting they may have on the outside.

Quite often, a table cloth is placed over the bottom the cake to hide the fact there is no bottom and that’s how the person inside gets inside. Other cakes sit on a platter or stand and have wheels so that the cake can be wheeled in with the person inside. 

A section of the cake can open like a door to allow the person to get inside with ease.

The top comes off and that’s how the person inside jumps out.

A pop out cake even featured in Xena Warrior Princess. 

To hire a cake, it’s best to approach a prop hire company like this one. 

Book description

A tale of skullduggery that plays out on the mean streets of Glasgow… 

One-legged barmaid Kirsty is in a shit-load of trouble after she kills one of gangster Jimmy McPhee’s enforcers with a stiletto heel to the head after he gets a bit too handsie. 

Now she’s on the run from the gang boss who loves to torture his victims before he kills them, with a safe-load of cash she stole from him and a hot gun. And she has company—a choirboy barman Jamie who just happens to be the only witness. 

She needs to survive long enough to spend the cash. 

~~~

Out now in paperback and Kindle at all good book stores and on Amazon 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

https://www.amazon.com/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

https://www.amazon.ca/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

Note - This post was first published in 2011 which shows what a long road publishing can be. I'm reposting it to celebrate How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks being published 8 years after it was first due to be published by Pulp Press. 
Thanks go to Shotgun Honey for publishing it. 

How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks is finally here!

After 8 very long years of winning publishing deals for How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks only to be disappointed when it wasn't pubished, along come Snubnose Press to make the dreams I had for my feisty hero (or is it anti-hero - read it and you decide).

Book description

A tale of skullduggery that plays out on the mean streets of Glasgow… 

One-legged barmaid Kirsty is in a shit-load of trouble after she kills one of gangster Jimmy McPhee’s enforcers with a stiletto heel to the head after he gets a bit too handsie. 

Now she’s on the run from the gang boss who loves to torture his victims before he kills them, with a safe-load of cash she stole from him and a hot gun. And she has company—a choirboy barman Jamie who just happens to be the only witness. 

She needs to survive long enough to spend the cash. 

~~~

Out now in paperback and Kindle at all good book stores and on Amazon 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

https://www.amazon.com/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

https://www.amazon.ca/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

~~~

This book is dedicated to...

Not only is the book dedicated to my best friend Benjy who passed away on January 9th, he also has a cameo role.

He'd have loved the book - mainly to sit his bone on.

RIP my dear friend. 

~~~

Keeping track of your novel's characters

Writing a novel series is a balancing act

One of the most important and time consuming parts of writing a series of books based on one character can be keeping track of the continuity. I discovered that to my cost when writing my Detective In A Coma series of books featuring Detective Inspector Duncan Waddell and his comatose sidekick DC Stevie Campbell. 

Unfortunately I hadn't prepared myself for making sure I maintained contiuity in my characters, which often led to me having to trudge through hundreds of pages of text to make sure everything I'd written was consistent. 

I've just finished writing book 4 Vigilante City and with the weird way that publishing works book 2 in the series Cannibal City will be published soon.
Keeping track of the characters and what's happened to then in previous books is tricky when you don't have a system in place.  

That's why I have my trusty notebook - an old fashioned one you write in - with pages devoted to every one of my main characters and plenty of space left to add in new details.

I'm using a notebook because I can carry it around with me, but I also back up the details online using file storage service Dropbox, my email and I have it in a Word document. 

Hey, as writers we can never back up too much, can we?

What should be in your notebook

1. Name and brief outline of the character.
Include full name of your characters including middle names and nicknames if any, age, general appearance.

2. Personality - What are they like as a person?
What do they like, what interests them, how do they treat others, what makes them laugh, have they any phobias/hang ups, are they dour or do that have a good sense of humour etc...

3. Personal details - are they married, divorced or single, do they have kids (if so what ages are they?), do they cheat on their partner, do they have any health problems etc...

4. Major events they've gone through. This would usually be things that happened to them in your books or that you've referenced in your books. 
For example, my sidekick detective DI Waddell has been able to have two-way conversations with his best pal and colleague Stevie Campbell, but nobody else can hear him. I had to establish in my notes when Stevie first spoke to him.

It might seem like you're spending too much time doing this, but trust me, it will turn out to be a major timesaver later on when you're not having to trawl through hundreds of pages of text just to find out what colour of hair a character has.

Tip - Have a photo of each character - some writers find it easier if they have a photograph of how their characters look pasted into a notebook, or pinned to a noticeboard on the wall or on their computer desktop. 

It can be a picture of anyone including of a celebrity or a generic photo cut out of a magazine.

If you find yourself losing your character you can look at it and it might put you back on track.

Was my house built on an ancient burial site?

I'm starting to think the flat I moved to over three years ago must have been built on the site an ancient burial ground like on those horror movies. Since we moved for family reasons, we've had nothing but a litany of bad luck.

Week one, I fell down the outside stairs and my foot looked like it'd been used as a baseball bat by the New York Yankees.

Just as that'd healed I ended up with a ligament injury that had me hobbling around like Long John Silver minus the parrot.

Okay, those things don't bode well but it happens. Surely our luck would change?

Next came the flasher 

Within a week of moving in the police were at our door asking if we'd seen a flasher. Apparently he'd exposed himself to some poor woman.

More horrendous luck followed.

Injured at Tesco

My OH was injured sitting on a bench outside Tesco and he needed stitches. Then he was the victim of an attempted mugging by two yobs who punched him on the face and spat on him. Incredibly it happened on a busy road and people would have seen it, but nobody even bothered to so much toot their horn. Welcome to the world of couldn't care less.

Even the driving is like something out of a horror movie.

Most of the drivers on the road next to us that's as busy as any motorway, drive like Wacky Races. They race each other, don't know what a zebra crossing is (Hoi, you're not meant to see people walking across one and try and mow them down) and stoping at red lights seem to be optional.

The end result - some near death experiences like the time the driver thought he'd save himself a bit of time by driving straight across the road island from one side of the road to another just as we were trying to cross.

My mobile phone was pickpocketed/stolen during the World Cup. Thankfully I managed to lock the thief out but not before he took photos of himself at a sectarian match. Not that it helped when I went to the police.

Happy New Year Death 

I celebrated the New Year by coming within a whisper of getting hit by a 4 by 4 that was doing about 50mph as it deliberately drove onto the pavement I was recklessly walking on with my dog because pavements are just another type of road to speed along. Again the police were as useful as a chocolate t-shirt. Welcome to 2019.

Time for an exorcism?

What should I do now? I'm thinking of having an exorcism performed to drive away the demons that clearly reside within our house and nearby. Yep, our neighbour is one of the nightmare ones who should be in a documentary.

Or maybe I should try Feng Shui.

At the moment I'm willing to give anything a try.

Who should I dedicate my book to?

Writing a book is tough work, so why shouldn't you get the finishing touches right? Finishing touches like the dedication?

I'm sure I'm not the only one whose mind goes blank when it comes to dedications, so I'm writing this post as much for myself as to help anyone else.

So, who do you dedicate your book to?
Ask yourself these questions -

Who inspired you to write?

A teacher at school?

A friend?

Your parents?

A relative?

Did someone go beyond the call of duty to help you write the book?

Do you have children and they babysat for you?

Did someone encourage you to write when you were about to give up?

For instance, Stephen King threw his manuscript for Carrie in the trash. His wife rescued it.

Dean R Koontz dedicated one of his books to his dog who had passed away.

I dedicated Hell To Pay to my mum Rosemary and Aunt Isobel, as well as two of my best friends who sadly died young. They are the two strongest women I know and Nancy Kerr is a strong female protagonist and the star of the the Die Hard for Girls series of books.

Tip: I dedicated the book to them, but could just have easily have named my main character after them. Instead I named Nancy Kerr after two of my best friends at school.

Remember, dedicating your book to someone makes a wonderful gift. Don't waste the opportunity your hard work's brought about by not using it.

Note - the Die Hard for Girls books were relaunched as the Crime Files by Limitless Publishing in April and May 2015.