Friday, 7 September 2012

Great things about being a writer


 
One of my books, Living Cruelty Free at the Frankfurt Book Fair

Okay, I hold my hands up. There has been some complaining of late from me about how tough it is to be a writer with publishers giving your books away free without telling you and creepy people cyber stalking you.

So, I reckoned it was about time to look at the good stuff.

1. You can look up any website and claim its research. Last night I searched for 'how to kill someone and get away with it.' If the police think I'm up to something, I have a ready-made excuse, 'I'm writing a book' even if I am plotting murder:) Only kidding.

2. You get to develop multiple personalities without ending up on medication.

3. You can sit doing nothing for ages and still say you're working. Well, you can't expect those plot knots to unknot themselves.

4. If you're life is depressing you can create a better one. Become a character you’ve created. Immerse yourself in it. Live in it.

5. You can get revenge on anyone you like by having something awful happen to them in your book, and there's not a thing you can do about it. A dentist who was horrible to me, was eaten by his dogs, penis and all. I did change his name.

6. You will never be alone. You have all those characters to keep you company.

7. You can change the world; mould it into whatever you want. Create happy endings. Make sure the bad guys (or girls) get their comeuppance. Things you don’t get to do in real life.

8. There is no better feeling that a parcel coming containing the books you have lovingly crafted.

2 comments:

  1. I agree with all your plus points!

    Any chance I can persuade you to lose the word verification?

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  2. Thanks Patsy. Off to get rid of that word verification. Think I set it when I was trying to keep that Facebook creep off my blog.

    ReplyDelete