Bullying - A Parent's Guide

Bullying - A Parent's Guide has been updated for 2011 and will be on sale on October 1st 2011, from Amazon, all good book shops and the publisher's website. RRPis £9.99.

The updated book focusses on cyber bullying at greater length and also offers tips on how to keep your child safe online.

I also make the point that even princesses can get bullied as Kate Middleton had to leave her school when she was just 13 because of bullying. Because of that she asked that as a wedding gift, people donated money to her favourite bullying charity.

The best advice I can give to anyone who is being bullied, is to tell someone - I know its difficult (hey, I've been there). Bullies lose most of their power when you tell someone.

I have also created a Facebook Page for the book.

Don’t make your characters stereotypes

Make him real, not a stereotype

I’m a woman, so I must like shopping, shoes and soaps. I must hate football, not know the offside rule and how to fix things. And of course, I abhor bad language as it offends my feminine sensibilities.

In reality, shopping is my idea of hell, I hate shoes and wear trainers all the time because I walk a lot and soaps, well as though I am as susceptible to big storylines as anyone, I can take or leave them.

I don’t just love football, I was a football journalist for years and I am the one who fixes things in our house.

I also (shamefaced) have done quite a bit of swearing in my time. Well, put it this way, if there was a swear box in our house, I’d be putting a heck of a lot more in it than my boyfriend.

Are you a stereotype? Chances are you probably are not. So, why should your characters be?

Make them different. Make them stand out. They can even be a contradiction. For instance, in the Harlan Coben Byron Molitar books his friend Win Lockwood looks like a soft rich boy, but he’s a violent man and a master in various martial arts.

Myron’s business partner Esperanza is a small, pretty Latino lady but she used to be a professional wrestler known as Pocahontas in the Fabulous Ladies of Wrestling.

Whatever you do, DO NOT make them a stereotype; don’t generalise.

Real life people aren’t stereotypes and you want to breathe life into your characters.  

If Choke Hold were a movie, Tarantino would direct

Sometimes you start to despair of the way women are portrayed in fiction. Even when they're the police officers in charge of major investigations they tend to be weighed down by child care arrangements and will they or won't they get it on with that colleague? You don't get that with male characters.

At times it seems that women are only defined by two things: motherhood and their relationships.

How refreshing it is therfore to read a book like Choke Hold by Christa Faust where the woman in it, the brilliantly named Angel Dare, is a person in her own right. She's not looking for the man of her dreams or looking to be a baby mamma. She just wants to stay alive and is feisty enough to do all she can, including using violence if need be.

If you think Choke Hold is the book for you, I've reviewed it at Shadowlocked. There's also a link in the review that will direct you to an excerpt so you can try before you buy.

This book is worth the money for the cover alone.

Released on 7th October 2011, priced £7.99

Time saving devices cost you time

Don’t get me started on modern technology that’s supposed to save you time.

Yesterday, I was out and about when inspiration struck and I thought rather than doing what I normally do and writing in the notepad I carry around with me, that I would use the Notes facility in my Nokia 5800 Xpress Music mobile phone. That way when I got home I could synch it with my laptop as I’d done countless times before.

I tried it and the thing wouldn’t work. So, I went online looking for trouble shooting guides – you know the one the manufacturer didn’t think would be helpful to include with the phone.

Nothing seemed to work.

Five hours later, I’m snapping at my partner who’s only trying to help and have visions of taking a hammer to the phone and smashing it to bits, before setting it on fire.

In the end I did a factory reset and set everything up again from scratch.

Time consuming? Yes.  Did I get any writing done? Nah. I guess these time saving devices aren't as time saving as they claim.

A word to the wise to Nokia and anyone else making electronic devices: if you have a manual it’d better be concise. You know one that actually has a trouble shooting guide on it, instead of space being taken up with things like ‘don’t let your phone overheat’ (do they honestly think I was going to send it to the sauna) and ‘how to switch it on’ (doh, that’s too high tech for me).

Some useful things every writer should have

A scanner pen

These are ieal for scanning text you need for research purposes and for working out the word count of articles and books. I have an Iris pen, but there are many more on the market.

Tip – make sure it will work on your operating system. For instance the Iris pen I have was bought when I had Windows XP, but it does work with my new Windows 7 laptop (although itv won't scan as much text as it would in XP)

A netbook/ipad

Perfect for those occasions when you want to travel light, but anticipate that you will be doing some writing.

A notepad with a light

Perfect when your OH is asleep and doesn’t want to be awakened by you scribbling down details of how to mutilate one of your characters.

A subscription to a writing magazine

Every single book I have had published (five so far and two on the way, including my first novel) has been down to reading about markets looking for writers in Writers’ News. It’s available on subscription although it comes with Writing Magazine. It’s a UK magazine, but they allow subscribers from abroad. Wherever you live there is bound to be a writing magazine.

Notepads and pens scattered around the house

Where do you get your best ideas: probably when you’re not sitting at your desk actually working? I have notepads and pens scattered around my house, including in the bathroom. There is nothing worse than coming up with a fantastic idea for an article or a scene in your book and not being able ro write it down.

Membership of a writers messageboard

Who else knows what its like to write, to send manuscripts to publishers and magazines and get a no? To have family who don't understand why you write? Other writers that's who. I belong to a site called Talkback and people are so helpful and friendly.

A dead Fred

To get me in the mood for writing crime I have a dead Fred pen holder. Reminds me of the outline of a body at a crime scene.

Some visual aids

To help me know where my characters are at any given time I use B Movie action figures that I bought on Amazon. Childish? Maybe, but when I’m writing about a group of characters I can tell where they all are.

Tip – Other, normal people may use pictures they’ve cut out of magazines and catalogues and say ‘this is what my character Bob looks like.’

A wee, happy dug to chase around the room

Writers can neglect their exercise. Having a dog who likes to be chased around the room at all times of the day and the night is the perfect way to make sure you don’t spend too much time on your fast expanding derriere.

 

Don't Let The Bullies Win: How to get your Confidence back

Were you bullied and have you never got over it? Does it still haunt you today?

Do you want to know how to deal with bullying behavior in everyday life?

Then Don't Let the Bullies Win: How to get Your Confidence Back may be the book for you. It offers tips and strategies on  -

• How to stop blaming yourself for what happened
• How to stop bullying and bullying behaviour from ruining your life and your relationships
• Learning how to like yourself
• Standing up for yourself including how to say no to people
• Learning to let go of what happened to you
• Helping yourself to feel better without relying on others
• Facing up to the bully

The book is available in Amazon's Kindle store. You can view a sample before you decide to buy, so if you decide the book is not for you, you won't have lost anything.

Click here for the UK.

Click here for the USA store.

I am also the author of Bullying - A Parent's Guide which is out in paperback and Kindle in the UK and USA and available on Amazon and all good book shops.  

Click on the cover picture to view the paperback on Amazon, RRP £9.99. Note - this was updated in 2011 to cover cyber bullying. The book is also available on Kindle.

  

You can read excerpts from Bullying - A Parent's Guide by clicking on the topic -

Cyber Bullying Tips

Getting Your Child to Open Up

What if My Child is Being a Bully

Bullying The Facts

Trouble at Twitter

I’ve been using Twitter for months now and I love the site. Having to say things in 140 characters or less is great practice for a writer. So too is getting to chat to people you would never get to meet on the non-cyber world.

Something happened to shatter my cosy image of Twitter. I got a message the other day.

It was from a direct message from someone I followed, saying that someone was posting nasty things about me on Twitter. There was a link in the DM that was sent straight to my email. I didn’t click it, because I knew something was wrong.

I am posting a copy of the message below (you'll need to click on it to make it bigger - trust me, this is safe) -

Note - I have blanked out the user names.

I looked on Twitter and couldn’t find any evidence of anyone bad mouthing me. Then I checked out the user who had ‘sent’ me the DM and it was clear from their posts that their account had been hacked.

I now believe the DM was an attempt to get me to click on a link that would put a virus on my computer.

Today, I got another one. This one read - “I can’t believe you posted this http://t.co/nX2Z7oC about me, i am so upset right now.”

Again, notice the inflammatory nature of the message. They want you to think something is up and click on that link without thinking.

How do you deal with this when accounts are being hacked and when on Twitter people post links all the time? I don’t honestly know. Having a good virus checker will help and using in regularly.

Protecting your password and changing it constantly, may also help.

From now on I will be very careful when it comes to Twitter and I hope you will too. Don’t let those spoilers waste it for you.