Saturday, 25 July 2015

Editing for authors - Have you bawled at the muddle with your puddle?






Going through your work, bit by bit can be a long and laborious process, but you have to get it right. 

Who wants to press that SEND button and then discover after that you've used there instead of their, or changed character names halfway through a chapter? 

Here's some examples from my latest book, the 2nd Detective in a Coma book, Cannibal City. Read them and weep with laughter fellow writers and readers -

His fist bawled into a fist.


Oops, sounds like his fist was crying.



It's not a puddle it's a muddle.

He landed his size 12 loafers in a muddle.


It was me that got in a muddle because I meant puddle. 


He shoved tape over her mouth and she could hardly breathe and she screamed.


That takes some doing screaming when you're gagged. Of course, she could scream under the gag.


I've also had people coming out of doors they never went in. My personal favourite was a dead man coming back to life and, no it wasn't my zombie novel The Restless Dead. This was another crime novel:) 


I'd love to hear what mistakes you've spotted in your work. Have you bawled at the muddle with your puddle? 


Please leave a comment so we can chortle away together. 



Saturday, 11 July 2015

At £10.52 is this the most expensive bottle of mineral water ever?



Internet Shopping's great, isn't it? The convenience. Being able to browse in your own home, at your own leisure.

It is great, until things go wrong and the retailer you're dealing with are Amazon.

I ordered 24x 50cl of Vittel mineral water from Amazon.co.UK
The price was £10.52.

Today, I received "my order." A box with ONE tiny 50cl bottle. Yep, one, not the 24 I ordered that I was meant to be receiving, but one single, solitary, lonely bottle.

I contacted Amazon on live chat. I expected to get a profuse apology. Instead, I was told "oh, that item is no longer available," although I'd ordered it. There was no offer of a refund.

Then I was told "oh, you only ordered one bottle," probably because the customer service woman was too lazy to check my full order showing a quantity of one in this case meant 24 bottles and not one.

How I felt when Amazon messed up my order

I tried to leave a review. It was polite and factual. Amazon rejected it. Maybe because it pointed out that I'd been charged £10.52 for one tiny bottle of water.

Finally, I did get my refund, but that's not the point. Amazon made the mistake, yet I'm the one who had to waste some of my Saturday trying to fix it (most of that time I spent getting more and more stressed out).

So, that's my story of the most expensive bottle of water on Amazon.

Here's a screen grab of the chat with the ever helpful Amazon


I'd love to hear you're messed around by Amazon stories.
Come on, share your misery.