How things could have been more interesting at the royal wedding

Katie Price turns up for her wedding to Prince William

Prince William marries Kate Price, alias Jordan. She insists upon bringing her own throne; a chavvy, fluffy pink one.

Prince Harry turns up at the Cathedral hair eschew, bleary eyed and clearly hung over and says: ‘F*** sake, is that the time?’

Prince Philip nods off during the ceremony and can be heard snoring loudly. When the Queen gives him a nudge, he snaps,’ Give me peace, woman.’

When the happy couple cut the cake, Fergie jumps out, completely starkers. (see my post on pop out cakes to read how that can be done)

Princess Michael of Kent can be heard offering to pave the way for a world first exclusive interview with the newly wed ‘for a fee.’

Prince Andrew turns up in a chopper, very late and lands it right in the middle of the wedding pics.