Vile City - Detective in a Coma Book 1 is on the way

I was delighted to be featured in the latest Writing Magazine where I spoke about the origins of Vile City and in particular Stevie Campbell, the character who just wouldn't stop talking to me.

If you're a writer I would recommend that you subscribe to this great magazine so you can hear about markets and opportunities.

Vile City will be published in 2017 and will appear under my full name Jennifer Lee Thomson.

Before my dad passed away after a long and courageous battle with cancer, he expressed some regret that I’d never used my middle name Lee in my writing as I’m named after his great-grandmother.

Here's the blurb -

DI Duncan Waddell has big problems. He’s borderline diabetic. The paperwork is piling up faster than the underwear at a porn shoot.

Now his best pal DC Stevie Campbell, who’s in a coma after being attacked by a suspect, has started to talk to him. Trouble is, only Waddell can hear him.

The last thing he needs is the country’s biggest case to land on his lap.

Three women have gone missing in the city he’s fast coming to despise, victims of the GLASGOW GRABBER, as their assailant has been dubbed by local hack and all round thorn in Waddell’s backside, Catriona Hastie.

Shelley Craig is his latest victim, snatched as she and her boyfriend took a shortcut through Glasgow city centre.

And she’ll do anything to make it home. 

Who kidnapped Shelley Craig? 

Vile City is also the story of Shelley Craig
and her battle to make it home after she's kidnapped. 

Things I've Learnt From Watching Crime shows like Snapped and Psychic Detectives

Like a lot of people I binge watch TV crime programmes with the names like Deadly Intentions, Psychic Detectives and Snapped: Women Who Kill.

I like the fact that in the majority of cases the victims get justice.

And it never ceases to amaze me how the truth is stranger that fiction. I mean if I were to write about some of these life crimes in one of my books, people would say they were too far fetched.

I've also learnt a few things -

If you don't want your partner to murder you, don't get a life insurance policy. If you must get one DO NOT make them the beneficiary.

Does your husband hunt? Have a gun collection? Be wary, one day you could be their prey. If they know how to gut an animal, gutting you won't be a problem.

Just because your husband or wife are churchgoers/Sunday school teachers doesn't mean they won't cheat on you or even try to kill you.

If you suspect your partner is going to kill you, they probably are. Trust your intuition. 

If you suspect your partner is going to kill you, report your suspicions to the police. At least then when he does kill you the police will know who to question.

What The Walking Dead taught me about writing

Dumb decisions brought Rick and the gang to this point.

Most of the second half of Season 6 of The Walking Dead didn't make sense.

Most of the characters we know and love acted like they'd lost their minds.

Okay, I've said it. 

And I'm not alone in thinking it. 

The Walking Dead made us feel like this.

The last few episodes leading up the Walking Dead season 6 finale had a lot of people screaming at their TV screens. The reason - the characters that viewers know (probably as well as most family members) and love started acting out of character.

Rick kills Primo thinking he's Negan. 

Take Rick Grimes. He goes after Negan's gang not even knowing who exactly they are, what Negan looks like and whether his group will be outnumbered and outgunned. 

Does that make any sense for such a shrewd leader? No way, Jose.

Then there's our beloved Daryl Dixon. With the big bogey man coming in the shape of comic villain Negan (did Rick Grimes really think the red shirt he killed so easily in a previous episode was dictator Negan - I doubt it), Daryl Dixon decided to go after Savior Dwight who killed Dr Denise with an arrow to the head. Daryl believed he'd caused her death by not killing Dwight when he had the chance. 

Daryl Dixon gets caught too easily. Like that should happen!

If Daryl Dixon had gone after his zombie apocalypse soulmate, Carol, that'd have made sense. But getting justice for Denise, I just don't see it.

Rick and Daryl weren't the only ones behaving out of character.

When a psycho is coming, you need Carol. 

Carol, the mother of the group, decides to leave Tobin a Dear John letter and quit Alexandria. Bully Negan's heading their way, but hey she can't kill for anyone any more. Even though she's pretty good at it.

Abraham doesn't tell Rick his plan to take out the saviors is dumb.

Soldier Abraham doesn't even suggest they do some fact-finding on Negan and his band of thieves before they kill some of his cohorts whilst they're sleeping.

There's no due diligence like, "Hey, Rick shouldn't we check the guy you're about to kill genuinely is the Big, Bad Wolf?"

But, no the story isn't being dictated by Rick, Daryl, Carol and Abraham. What Rick and Co do is being dictated by the story. The writers are using them like pawns on a chessboard.

Annoying isn't it when characters are manipulated like that, and unsatisfying. 

And that's why so many fans like me are angry with The Walking Dead - we know these characters and how they'll react and its not how they've been acting on the show. 

Rick would find out everything he could about Negan before he went after him.

Daryl wouldn't go and get himself and a lot of his friends taken.

Carol would kill again - even if it was one last time.

Abraham would say to Rick, "We need to do this right."

Michonne getting caught? No way. 

No matter what you're writing, your characters have to act in a believable way. Rick, Daryl, Carol and Abraham haven't been doing that.

Their characters have been messed with to make the story go a certain way and that leaves viewers disappointed.

As a writer, you don't want your readers to feel the same way. They'd be perfectly entitled to throw your book across the room.

Characters must be consistent and if they change, there must be a very good reason for it.

Good storytelling has to make some sense, or your readers will be left disappointed. 

3 Ways to read like a writer

If you don't have time to read, you don't have time to write.

Read as many books as you can in the genre you want to write.

How often have we heard successful authors like Stephen King say that? And its true.

But, how do you read in a way that helps you to write?

Here's just 3 ways -

Rule no.1
Do you skim any text, or just go past it completely because it doesn't interest you?

If so, learn from it and don't write anything similar in your book, whether its long drawn out description or over flowery language.

Rule no.2
Just as you can learn from what you don't like in a book you can learn from what you do like.

Does the author ensure all their characters stand out because they're so different? I love it when they do without dragging the story down to a snail's pace.

Rule no.3
Think about what makes the main character stand out or be a cliche. In a crowded genre like crime thriller you have to do something different.

I've tried to make Detective Inspector Duncan Waddell in my Detective in a Coma series different by making him doubt his sanity because everyone tells him his friend and colleague Stevie Campbell is a coma, but he's talking to him. This not only gives Waddell something that will make him stand out, it also gives Vile City and the rest of the series a supernatural angle.

Coping With Rejection sucks but you can get through it

It used to come as the sound of your manuscript in a brown envelope thudding as it hit your doormat.

Now its more likely to come as an email which in a way makes it worse because until you've read it there's this tiny glimmer of hope that its going to be a yes and that in a minute you will be dancing around the rooming yelling, "Ya, beauty." (I'm Scottish and that's how I celebrate).

They'll be no happy dance:)

You read the email and usually the phrase you get is "it's not for us" or "thanks for sending this to us but you weren't successful on this occasion." Your head dips, your heart sinks and all the other cliches happen.

So, how do you get through this crushing sense of failure?

First off, don't see it as failure. Its usually someone's opinion - just one person. Do we all like the same things? Nope. So, why would we like the same books?

Besides, failure isn't trying and getting knocked down. Failure is not trying and putting yourself in a position to fail.

How many people do you know who say they're writing a book who never actually write a book?

Too many.

What else helps when you get that disappointing no?

Well, I like to watch comedies. After yesterday's thumping disappointment I binge watched Parks and Recreation.

Laughing away the tears helps.

Chocolate also helps. Probably so does wine but I'm teetotal and it would be too easy to drown your sorrows. If you know when to stop, you go for it.

Talking to other writers might help. My favourite forum is the TalkBack one from Writer's News. You'll find it here

Most importantly if you got any feedback at all treasure it. Publishers and agents don't say things they don't mean. My latest rejection said they liked the idea behind my submission.

Be kind to yourself, folks. Remember the path to a writer's success is paved with rejection slips and emails. It shows you've been brave enough to get your work out there.

CARRY ON WRITING.

Free Zombie story - Pick Your Brain

What would happen once the zombie apocalypse was over and people (and zombies) were forced to justify their actions?

That's the scenario I took and then ran with it for my short story Pick Your Brain. I'd describe it as horror with a dash of crime.

Pick Your Brain

by

Jenny Thomson

“Miss McBride, in all my years of representing clients whom other less well attuned legal brains would turn down as unwinnable, I have never come across one single case I could not win.” He pursed his lips. “Until now that is. Do you honestly think citing a…”

He cleared his throat.

“And, I’m quoting your expert witness Professor Romero here. "A virus that renders people incapable of rational thought and gives them an uncontrollable compulsion to consume human flesh, especially human brains," is going to assist your boyfriend in his defence after he was caught by two police officers, standing over the lifeless body of his friend, clutching a baseball bat soaked in the blood and chunks of brain matter from the deceased who was later found to have died from multiple brain injuries consistent with several blows to the head from a baseball bat?”

“Yes,” I said. “It’s the truth.”

Charles Benson, who had so many letters after his name it was like a game of Scrabble, eyed me like I was the last lunatic left in an asylum. “Did one of my learned colleagues put you up to this?” His eyes swept the room. “Are there hidden cameras? Is this some TV prank show?”

His reaction was hardly a new one. I’d encountered similar reactions from other barristers who were convinced I was delusional. “No,” I said, defiant, “this isn’t a prank. This is real.”

He raised his chin. The gesture reminded me of a haughty child.

“Well, in that case Miss McBride, I can’t help you. It’s a psychiatrist you need, not a man of law.”

Condescension seeped from his every word.

It was hard to hide my disappointment. I’d been sure he was the one man who could help us and argue that Scott had acted in self-defence. His friend, Archie was trying to eat him.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Mr Benson.” And I was genuinely sorry. If he couldn’t help Scott in this way he’d have to help him in another.

“I honestly thought someone of your calibre who’d successfully argued that a man wasn’t guilty of murdering his wife because he mistook her for a lion, would have a more open mind.” I paused to eye him with disdain. “Perhaps you could speak to Scott and explain why you won’t help him. He’s a teacher and a well-respected pillar of this community just like you. It’ll only take a minute. He’s outside.”

Charles Benson’s face went pumice grey. “No, I’m sorry, I don’t have the time. My next client will be here.”

I stood up and walked over to the door. “Well, in that case our business is over, Mr Benson. But there’s one last thing you can help me with.”

With a nod of the head, I opened the door. “I think you should meet Scott anyway, so you’ll understand. You see, in the attack he was bitten. More like a scrape caused by teeth sliding against his skin really. He didn’t turn as quickly as they do in the movies or in The Walking Dead.”

I gave a wry smile. “Well, things are seldom as they are in the movies.”

Scott shambled into the room, feral eyes glowing as he saw his prey. His nails were ragged and torn and bloody from eating the two prison guards on the way over and the secretary outside.

Charles Benson’s eyes were wide with terror. “You better leave now, or I’m calling the police.”

His words were strangled.

As Scott pinned him to the desk and sunk decaying teeth into his fat flesh, I couldn’t resist one last parting shot.

“Do you believe me now, Mr Benson?”

He was unable to answer. Scott had ripped out his throat – the blood that spurted out of the arrogant lawyer’s veins reminded me of raspberry sauce on an ice cream cone. Blood is never as red as you think, not when you get used to it.

Scott devoured the lips, then the nose, followed by the brain. The intestines he gorged on like cheesy string. Benson’s fingers he wolfed down like hot dogs.

Once he was done, he licked the blood and flesh from his teeth.

I wagged a finger at him. “Christ, Scott, we’re gonna run out of lawyers soon.”

Scott drooled. “HUNGRY. BRAINS.”

My face softened. “Okay, but we need to tidy up this office and go. We have more legal brains we need to pick.”

The End (or is it the beginning?)

 

Note - This story first appeared in the kick ass Pulp Metal Magazine

Jenny Thomson is the author of Scottish zombie novel DeadBastards that's been described as "a cross between Trainspotting and Shaun of the Dead."

Write your own version of The Walking Dead

Get your teeth into writing a zombie novel

I never expected to be able to write a zombie novel. I thought horror was best left to three of my favourite authors – Shaun Hutson, James Herbert and Graeme Masterton.

Then this image came into my head of a couple lying in bed when there’s a knock at the door. One of them pads down the hall, opens the door and finds his friend Archie standing there. Archie looks like he’s been mugged. Then they notice that his insides are dripping out…

And so Dead Bastards was born. 

Along the way I’ve learnt a few things -

1. Don’t concentrate on too many people’s stories.
This is a big mistake. Too many characters and too many stories distance the reader from the story you are trying to tell. You want to being everybody into the world you've created. 

2. Respect the genre. 
When it’s a genre that people are well acquainted with like zombies, you need to stick to the rules. By all means push the limits. I recently read a book by a well known author who gave one of his zombies the gift of thought. Bad enough, but he also gave them the cloak of invisibility. I threw that book across the room in a hissy fit. 

3. Make your characters distinctive.
People should know who’s speaking even without speech tags. This is tricky to do. 

4. Every step of the way, your characters must have a goal.
Simply surviving isn't enough. Just look at The Walking Dead. They always have a goal, whether it's to get revenge, find the rest of the group or help take Eugene to Washington because he says he has a cure.

For instance, in Dead Bastards they had to go to a shopping mall for supplies. There was no way out of it. Having goals creates conflict and brings your characters to life. Put your characters into a situation and see how they get out of it. 

5. Don’t do what writers of The Walking Dead’s did and get too bogged down with one aspect of your plot.
In the case of the hit show, they focussed too much on the Lori, Shane and Rick love triangle. In the end, I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who got bored with it. If I wanted that kind of storyline, I'd watch a soap opera. 

In a zombie novel, the zombies must be king. 

Now for the zombies

Now yo've got the book sorted, it's time to think about what kind of zombies you'll have? 
Will it be the shufflers or the runners?

Will they be smarter zombies or the standard slow kind? 

Choose wisely, then run (or shuffle) with it.

Remember, it's your story and nobody can tell it like you can:) 

Why not check out my zombie novel? 

Dead Bastards: Zombies hit Glasgow: How will the zombies survive? 

Check out the cover. It's pretty cool and is actually a scene from the book.

Dead Bastards is available in paperback and Kindle (although a book's probably better as a Kindle isn't much use against a zombie - trust me, I've tried).