BT Broadband Bollocks

Last night about 9pm, my BT Broadband went off and wouldn’t work.  This isn’t the first time this has happened and no doubt it will not be the last. 

I consulted the useless guide (sorry, I meant user guide) and it basically said ‘you’re stuffed.’  I checked up the service status and it said there was a problem with the service in the North of England, Scotland (where I live), but hey you will love this one (I loved it so much, I flung down the phone in a rage and shouted words my mum told me never to say) if I needed help with my broadband I could go to the BT website.  Wonderful, how do I do that when I can’t get on the Internet!

P.S. I am writing this offline in the hope that eventually BT broadband will deign to give me what I pay for.

Where would you keep a human finger?

'Last night, I turned to my boyfriend in bed and calmly asked him 'where would you put a human finger?' Once he had checked none of his were missing, he asked me why I wanted to know.  I told him that my character was going to find one, but I wasn't sure where, so he suggested in a jar of pickles.  So, that's what I've gone for. 

It could have been worse.  The other night I asked him what a kick in the dangle bag felt like.  I can't print his reply!

I'm a loser

As writers, we constantly seek validation that our work is any good.  Today I received news that made me think mine is utter, utter tosh.  I had applied for a New Writers Award from the Scottish Books Council.  Had I got it, it would have made me think my work wasn't rubbish.  But, I was turned down.  200 people had applied, they told me.  The standard was so very high.  We cannot give out any individual feedback, they said. 

Rejection has hit me hard.  I won't deny it, as I had sent an extract from Vile City.  Then I decided to remind myself of those who had succeeded.  The list of previous years' winners were listed.  There was a recurring theme throughout them.  Most of them had done a masters degree or even a Phd in creative writing.  I have done neither.  Instead I have written, without any professional qualifications and I have being selling my work for the past 23 years. 

And, that's the good thing about writing.  You don't need a degree to do it.  Most of the top authors have just written and that is what I will continue to do. Right now it feels like someone is giving my innards a kicking and disappointment sickens me to the core.  But, I will not let this finish me off.  I will keep writing away and hopefully one day I might get some validation.