The angry writer makes a comeback...and she's livid.

 

When you're not being published you look at writers who are and think their life must be wonderful. They've made it. Their book's out there being coveted and they're being told how wonderful they are. They're raking in the cash - go on, you in the know; chortle away at that one.

Then you become one of them and realise life can still be, well not to put it to politely, shit.

So far (I'm expecting more rotten tomatoes) here's the lowdown on my publication hell -

Amazon getting the listing wrong on ALL their sites, so all of my books wouldn't appear on my Amazon author page. I had to contact those sites individually - you can't just contact one, you've got to contact them all - to get the details changed. See What to do when Amazon gets your details wrong post. This was a time consuming process and all because whoever keyed in the details on a book site, couldn't copy information.
The book coming out a month early but the Kindle version not following suit. Result - losing would be sales and losing out on potential readers.

Getting one star ratings from people who complained that the book "didn't contain enough romance."
It's a crime thriller with a bloody handprint on the cover. There's no mention of romance.

Getting two one star ratings on Goodreads from someone who hadn't read the book. One rating was for the Kindle version that isn't even out yet. I contacted Goodreads and they didn't seem to think this was a big deal. It wouldn't surprise me if there's going to be an Amazon review scandal with people leaving malicious ratings and reviews.

My publisher saying my book came out at the wrong time "for the word to have got yet" and the book missed out in being in "some of the trade catalogues" where so many bookstores order their books, so there were hardly any orders.

A writer with the same publisher wanting to exchange likes on Facebook, then pulling out and sending me a sniffy message saying "I don't like your cover." A bloody handprint for a crime novel - why didn't I have a picture of a fluffy bunny? Eh, it's not a book like Living Cruelty Free.

To top it all, I've spent hundreds of hours promoting this book, doing things like setting up a website, a Facebook page, blogging, getting reviews and running a Twitter account, as well as putting excerpts up on Wattpad and Scribd and I'm starting to wonder what the hell is the point? The last time I wrote anything was this blog post. Yet, I've got a heap of writing projects that I could be doing rather than promoting a book I seem to be more invested in than my publisher and fixing Amazon screw ups.

Then today I got a call from my dad to tell me they'd seen a book with the exact same cover in Waterstones. I'm now off to scream into a bucket.

Would you like a starring role in a novel? Have a character named after you.

Some fanfare please –

Would you love to have a starring role in a novel?

Or have a character named after a person of your choice – your other half, or even your dog as a unique gift?

Well, your dreams can come true.

Everybody who writes a review for Hell To Pay on Amazon or Goodreads between now and July 26th when the book will be out in Kindle - available now on Amazon in paperback – will be entered into a draw to gets a character in my next book named after them or someone of their choosing (but no obscene, made up names please). The two winners - YES - TWO WINNERS - will also get a signed copy and get a mention in the acknowledgements.

Here’s the links people -

Amazon UK

Amazon.com

Happy reading and good luck:)

The book won’t be available on Kindle until July 26^th, so I will be repeating this competition then for the Kindle version.

Note – I’ve had to extend the original closing date because a few people have been in touch to say they’ll be in holiday or books take longer to be delivered where they are.
 

What to do when Amazon spells your name wrong (or gets other book details wrong)

I was really excited to see Hell To Pay going on up on the various sites including Amazon, but that excitement was diluted ended when I saw that they’d spelt my surname wrong. Firstly, on the Amazon.com site and then on Amazon.ca

It’s important that the details are correct so that your Amazon author central* page will be linked to your book. Your author central page has tweets from you, details of blog posts and a list of your other books. It’s a great promotion tool, but only if the details are correct.

If this happens to you, this is what you do to get Amazon to change it.

*To get an Amazon author central page click here to register. For Amazon.com, click here

STEP ONE

Go to the book page on Amazon

Tip – Ignore the message for publishers and authors where the publisher is told to update the feed sent to Amazon and the author is told to contact their publisher. I know for a fact, that my publisher sent the correct details to Amazon who keyed it in wrongly.
 

TWO

Scroll down to where it says Would you like to update product info and click on that.

 

THREE

You will be taken to your Amazon sign in page. Sign in.

FOUR

From there you will be taken to Update Product Info

 

 

FIVE

Put in as much info as you have. For instance, if you have a pictures of your book cover complete with ISBN number (you need this) then submit that.

Tip – You can also submit a change of details through your Amazon Author Central account. It's just as easy to use.

Writers, what to do if you get a stinker of a review

My filing cabinet for bad reviews.

It happens to every writer eventually. You get a review that has you wanting to scream one minute and curl up in a ball sobbing until the stars fall out of the sky. How do you deal with that?

Here's a few tips.

1. Remember it's only one person's point of view. One person. Not hundreds of people - just one. Does everybody everywhere like the same things? Nope, so you have to accept that there will be people who may not like your book.

2. Print out the review and roll it up into a ball and throw it in the bin, or use it to play a game of ping pong. The review doesn't have much power over you now, eh?

3. Talk to other writers. Ask them about the worst review they've ever had. Moan about it. Laugh about it. Then forget about it.

4. Look at all your good reviews and all the good things that anyone has ever said about your writing. Does one or two bad reviews mean you are suddenly a bad writer? Of course not. Push away all that negativity by submerging yourself in positivity.

5. Tell yourself that at least they bought your book. The money from someone who leaves you a bad review is the same as someone who leaves you a good review.

6. And, if you really get upset by reviews, step away from the computer and STOP reading them. I know it's hard, but a writer needs to keep writing. Any time spent being all maudlin over a review, one person wrote, is eating into your writing time.

7 Ways to Kickstart your writing in the new year

If only it did come in a can:)

It happens to all of us. We get very little writing done over the holidays - that's if we get any done at all. Then when we have to get back to it, it's hard to get going again.

How do you break through that wall and get going again?

Here's some tips -

Even time spent watching Jeremy Kyle isn't wasted.

1.Look through a real life magazine or watch a show like Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer. Are there any stories that catch your eye? Don't read it. Just take the headline say, "My husband was a bigamist and a murderer" and write your own story based on that. Try for a new angle. Write from the husband's point of view or from two of the wives when they get together. 

2. Write your own version of your favourite movie or TV shows. 

Even time watching the soaps isn't wasted.

3. Soap storylines are also a good source of inspiration. Use a current storyline, but feature your own characters.

4. No takers on that book? Try turning it into a screenplay. The more strings a writer has to their bow the better. 

5. Pick any book off your shelf and look at the first paragraph. Write a story that follows on from that. 

6. Cut out pictures of people from a magazine or catalogue. Imagine their lives and what could have happened to them. Write about them. 

7. Try an online story generator. You'll be surprised at what they come up with. 

Writers, it's time to get out of Twitter jail

I realised I was getting too caught up in tweeting, Facebooking, blogging, messageboards, google plus...and the list goes on and on and on...when I wanted to throw my computer out the window in a fit of all consuming incredible Hulk rage.

Well, I couldn’t get the book trailer for Dead Bastards on Kindleboards.

With a second book in what I hope will be a popular Die Hard for girls series to write, my blood pressure bubbling and the lack of sleep, I decided enough was enough.

Here are the commandments I will now live by -

1. No social networking through dinner. No tweeting, Facebooking or writing a blog post.

2. Have one day a week when I don't use social networking at all.

3. When I'm watching a film or a TV show, I also have to go cold turkey.

4. Enjoy the social networking experience. Have fun with people. Stop saying "Please, pretty please buy my book/s" all the bloody time. Folk are sick of hearing it. You're sick of hearing it.

5. Write more without a computer because unless you do you’ll be dragged back to Twitter. Write in long hand. Scribble. By all means take a break, go on Twitter, but only for twenty minutes at the most. Then go back to writing. I'll set an alarm if I need to.

And those are the rules I hope to live by. Well, once I've posted, tweet, FB, Google + this blog post.

My crazy writing year

On the face of it you'd think I'd had a successful writing year. With Living Cruelty Free out in Kindle and paperback, my zombie novel Dead Bastards astounding me by coming out before Christmas (thanks to the remarkable editing skills of my publisher Terry Wright) and Hell to Pay written and in the hands of my publisher (and more Die Hard for Girls books planned), it does sound good.

 

But, sadly this year has been a complete nightmare and one I'll be glad to see the back of, for a number of reasons -

1. Because of a Facebook page I set up for my bullying book, I found myself being cyber stalked by a crazy person and their family who'd send me harassing messages even when I blocked them.

2. Writing Living Cruelty Free meant looking at horrific images of man's inhumanity to man and animals. Some of those images and research I had to look at gave me nightmares. I sunk into a deep depression it took me months to get out of.

3. I found myself working 15 hours a day to promote/edit my books - yep, even on Christmas Day. I now find it difficult to sleep and my agoraphobia's got worse.

4. Sales of the books my publisher Need2Know decided to give away, free and unlimited (without telling me) for w YEAR have fallen through the floor. Before, one in particular, was selling steadily. No sales mean any royalties. No wonder I have to decide which room to heat. Anyone has this illusion of writers being wealthy should think again.

5. Thanks to the sock puppet scandal, I've had reviews from people who bought my books taken down on Amazon without explanation. The reason - they said in their reviews they were writers too. Like writers don't/can't read? It's hard enough to get reviews at it is without that happening. Ditto people who were bought my book as a gift because they weren't verified purchasers. Well, they wouldn't be - the books were bought by someone else for them.

 

Not that top authors who’ve already made a name for themselves will be affected; it will just be us little guys who don't have big publishing houses and the might of their publicity budgets behind us.

And, that's just my writing life. Oh, and the year started with a 3 day power cut - in an apartment, with no gas or coal fire.

So, let's raise a glass to 2013, may it bring us all better days.