Cakes you jump out of (yes, really)

Hopefully the person jumping out of your cake won't look as bored as these two!

For a major scene in my book, How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks, I wanted my main character Kirsty to try and get close enough to someone who would immediately have her killed if he saw her.

I racked my brains about how to do this without her being found out and when it emerged he was having a birthday party, I thought it would be awesome if she could hide in a cake.

I don’t know about you, but I have never seen anyone jump out of a cake before, so I didn’t know where to start.  That’s when the good old Internet came to the rescue.   

Here are some fun facts I discovered -

It's actually quite straightforward to hire a pop out cake, as cakes designed for jumping out of are called.

Pop out cake are usually three tier cakes that resemble wedding cakes, you can even make your own. They can also be square.

Note, I said make and not bake your own because the only similarity between these cakes and real ones is the edible frosting they may have on the outside.

Quite often, a table cloth is placed over the bottom the cake to hide the fact there is no bottom and that’s how the person inside gets inside. Other cakes sit on a platter or stand and have wheels so that the cake can be wheeled in with the person inside. 

A section of the cake can open like a door to allow the person to get inside with ease.

The top comes off and that’s how the person inside jumps out.

A pop out cake even featured in Xena Warrior Princess. 

To hire a cake, it’s best to approach a prop hire company like this one. 

Book description

A tale of skullduggery that plays out on the mean streets of Glasgow… 

One-legged barmaid Kirsty is in a shit-load of trouble after she kills one of gangster Jimmy McPhee’s enforcers with a stiletto heel to the head after he gets a bit too handsie. 

Now she’s on the run from the gang boss who loves to torture his victims before he kills them, with a safe-load of cash she stole from him and a hot gun. And she has company—a choirboy barman Jamie who just happens to be the only witness. 

She needs to survive long enough to spend the cash. 

~~~

Out now in paperback and Kindle at all good book stores and on Amazon 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

https://www.amazon.com/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

https://www.amazon.ca/How-Kirsty-Gets-Her-Kicks/dp/1643960059

Note - This post was first published in 2011 which shows what a long road publishing can be. I'm reposting it to celebrate How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks being published 8 years after it was first due to be published by Pulp Press. 
Thanks go to Shotgun Honey for publishing it. 

The wacky world of the pop out cake

Hopefully, the person jumping out of your cake
 won't look as bored as these two!

For a major scene in my book, How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks, I wanted my main character Kirsty to try and get close enough to someone who would immediately have her killed if he saw her.

I racked my brains about how to do this without her being found out and when it emerged he was having a birthday party, I thought it would be awesome if she could hide in a cake.

I don’t know about you, but I have never seen anyone jump out of a cake before, so I didn’t know where to start.  That’s when the good old Internet came to the rescue.   

Here are some fun facts I discovered -

It's actually quite straightforward to hire a pop out cake, as cakes designed for jumping out of are called.

Pop out cake are usually three tier cakes that resemble wedding cakes, you can even make your own. They can also be square.

Note, I said make and not bake your own because the only similarity between these cakes and real ones is the edible frosting they may have on the outside.

Quite often, a table cloth is placed over the bottom the cake to hide the fact there is no bottom and that’s how the person inside gets inside. Other cakes sit on a kind of platter like this one - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-xtjrR5Dc8  and have wheels so that the cake can be wheeled in with the person inside. A section of the cake can be like a door to allow the person to get inside with ease.

The top comes off and that’s how the person inside jumps out.

A pop out cake even featured in Xena Warrior Princess. 

To hire a cake, it’s best to approach a prop hire company who hire them out for parties and other events. 

Footnote - 

I'm delighted to announce that How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks about a one-legged Glasgow barmaid who goes on the run from with a gangster's cash and gun, will be published in June 2019 by Shotgun Honey. Exact date tbd.

Stay tuned for details. Here's  the cover reveal, as you finally get to find out why Kirsty jumps out of a cake and how she gets on:)

WIN the first book in the Crime Files series, Hell to Pay

Did someone say FREE book?

Hell, yeah.

Enter to win the first book in the Crime Files series, Hell to Pay by Jenny Thomson now. Just click HERE 

Here’s a wee taster –

Nancy Kerr refuses to be a victim—even when she walks in on her parents’ killers and is raped and left for dead…

Fourteen months later, Nancy wakes up in a psychiatric hospital with no knowledge of how she got there.

Slowly, her memory starts to return.

Released from the institution, she has just one thing on her mind—two men brought hell to her family home.

Now they’re in for some hell of their own…

Now available on Amazon –

USA 

UK

CANADA

AUSTRALIA 

Categories: Mystery/Thriller, Pre-Orders. Tags: Crime, Crime Files, Criminal Supense, Detective, Hell To Pay, Jenny Thomson, Murder, Mystery, Revenge, Suspense, Thriller.

Isn't it about time women got justice in life and fiction?

Someone I know very well and care about very deeply, was walking to her car in broad daylight just as she'd done so many times before. She'd just put in a 12 hour shift at the hospital where she works as a nursing assistant and was so tired she'd trouble putting one foot in front of the other. She was desperate to get home because her cat hadn't come back the night before and she was worried about him.

She was about 5 steps away from her car when she heard a voice.

"Lady, I think you dropped something."

She didn't think she had, but turned around anyway.

When the fist pummelled into her face she fell and hit her head on the pavement. Too dazed to get up, she could do nothing as the man dragged her into bushes. She was raped and beaten so badly even her own mother didn't recognise her.

She'd scratched her attacker, so she had his blood under her fingernails, but there was a mix up at the forensics lab and the only sample they had got lost. The police made an arrest, but they let the man go because his lawyer argued that her identification of him wouldn't stand up in court because she'd been concussed when she’d fell.

Cathy (not her real name) is not alone in not getting justice.

In the UK, the prosecution rate for rapists is pathetically low. According to official figures in the UK for 2012, only one in 30 victims (the majority of them women) can expect to see their attacker brought to justice. In 2010, Jane Clough was murdered by former boyfriend Jonathon Vass who'd been released on bail whilst awaiting trial for raping her several times.

In the USA, it's more difficult to determine, but it wouldn’t surprise me if most women who are raped don’t get to see their attacker convicted.

I wrote Hell To Pay because I wanted to see an everyday woman turn the table on her attackers after the law failed her. I was sick of seeing strong, brave women like my friend subjected to the vilest of assaults and left with victim's guilt. Cathy once said to me that the police asked her why she didn't ask a male colleague to walk her to her car. The question upset her. She felt as though they were blaming her for being attacked.

In time, she started to think they were right.

In my friend's case she never got justice. She never saw the man (if anything that can be called a man could do such cruel things aimed at achieving the maximum hurt and degradation to another human being) in the dock and never got to tell her story to a court.

The Crime Files books come with a guarantee: that women will always get justice and the bad guys will be punished. Maybe, just maybe, one day that will happen in real life.

Note - this piece first appeared at http://diehardforgirls.weebly.com/1/post/2013/07/isnt-it-about-time-women-got-justice.html

Disclaimer: the Crime Files books are pure, escapist fiction and do not in any way advocate violence.

Order links for Hell to Pay (Crime Files Book 1) on Kindle

Amazon.com

Amazon.co.uk

Amazon.ca

Amazon.com.au

****Coming soon in paperback***

Books 2 and 3 are also available. 

Book 2 

Book 3 

Why should you read Hell To Pay?

Why should you read Hell To Pay?

1. In real life women don't usually get revenge on their attackers, Nancy Kerr does.
2. If you like strong women, you'll like Nancy Kerr.
3. There's a handsome strapping sidekick called Tommy McIntyre.

Hell to Pay is now available on Amazon. 

You can read an extract from Hell To Pay on the excellent Wattpad site by clicking here.

6 Things every writer should know

I was first published when I was 15 and wrote a piece on superstitions for Jackie magazine. Over the years, though my writing, this is what I’ve learned -

 

1. Write as much as you can in as many different genres as you can. That way when opportunities present themselves you'll be ready. I know this from experience. In March 2011, I signed a contract to have my first work of fiction published, my novella How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks. For various reason it didn't happen. I also started a follow up book I called Die Hard for Girls. When I saw on Twitter that Sassy Books were looking for submissions, I tweeted the editor. Would she be interested in Die Hard for Girls that I'd since renamed Hell to Pay. She said yes and I submitted it and was offered a good royalty contract just days later.

2. That brings me to my second point - make sure you're on social networking sites so you'll see these opportunities. Without Twitter I'd have two books sitting in my unpublished file. Join great forums like Writer's News Talkback. Network with other writers. See an opportunity for another writer, let them know. They'll alert you to an opportunity you might have missed.

3. That brings me nicely to my third point - help other writers. Don't see them as competitors; see them as comrades in the trenches of writing. Help one another. Commiserate when things go wrong; celebrate their successes. Unless you do it can get lonely.

4.Learn to promote your books. You can't expect your publisher to place ads in the big newspapers. They only do that for the big names. As for you, a listing in their online catalogue is the best you can hope for. The plus side is that because you know your book so well you're the best person to promote it. I have Twitter, Facebook pages and dedicated blogs for Dead Bastards and Living Cruelty Free. The only cost to me was my time. I know doing this has sold books.

5.Don't ever tell yourself "I can't write in that." If a story comes alive in your head, go with it. I never thought I'd write a horror novel. Then this image came into my head of a man turning up at his friend's door looking like he'd been mugged. Only when he comes inside it becomes clear that his guts are spilling out and this is no ordinary mugging. When he dies and then comes back and tries to eat them, they realize that the zombies are here.

I just couldn't get this image out of my head of this guy's guts spilling out onto the floor and this Glasgow couple trying to scoop them up and shove them back in again, so I started scribbling away. And so, Dead Bastards was born.

6.Just because a publisher says no the first time doesn't mean you should give up. TWB Press who published my Glasgow zombie novel originally turned it down when I submitted it as a serial. I really admired the ethos of the company (no non-sense entertainment), so I worked on it some more and what was intended to be a 30k novella ended up a 70k novel (although over 10, 000 words were cut). The publisher Terry Wright liked it and wanted to publish it.