Tales and thoughts from the coal face of writing and life from Scottish crime writer Jennifer Lee Thomson.
Monday 26 July 2021
The moment that changed my novel - Don't be afraid to change course
Saturday 3 July 2021
Listen to your dad even if he drives you nuts (a belated Father's Day post)
Monday 28 June 2021
Chrome extensions are useful until they hijack your laptop with charmsearching
THERE IS NO CHARM IN CHARM SEARCHING
A couple of days ago I noticed a very strange thing happening with my Windows 10 laptop. No, not the usual constant updates that make me crave my Chromebook.
No, the problem I had was whenever I searched for anything it was redirecting me to something called charm searching dot com and that would take me to bing where it would come up with the search results and not Google which is my default search engine.
Have you heard of it? Despite its name there's nothing charming about it. I certainly hadn't been acquainted with it. Then I did my research and what I discovered made me scared to use my laptop.
Charmsearching is the name of a fake search engine and browser hijacker. When your computer becomes infected with this malware your searches are redirected to this fake search engine. There is a chance of your personal data being heavily compromised.
I had to eradicate this dangerous nuisance and fast.
GET OFF MY LAPTOP!
I tried several things - including downloading Combo cleaner - that people who seemed to know what they're talking about suggested. A quick scan took over 4 hours and found absolutely nothing.
I checked all my browser settings and blocked the search charms website.
But no matter what I tried, including uninstalling and reinstalling Chrinrm
SOLVED - Check your Chrome extensions if you have any👍☺️
Thankfully, then I came across a discussion group and they suggested that chrome-extensions could be the problem. Apparently these extensions which I find useful when they're not screwed up my computer, can work perfectly fine for months and even years only to be corrupted.
Methodically I disabled them all and one at a time I enable each extension and checked to see if I still had charm search. Eventually it was gone. No more redirects when I put in a search.
The culprit in my laptop's case - an extension that takes screenshots that I had been using for months with no trouble.
If I get any more problems the first place I'll head to is extensions.
Monday 14 June 2021
Why I love zombies
I'm not the only one obsessed with the dead who rise |
I often get asked when people look down my list of published books why I wrote a zombie novel? It doesn't seem to fit in with my profile - I've been a vegetarian for over 30 years and a crime writer.
I've written books on compassionate living, bullying due to my bitter experience of it, caring for your dog because of my experience of having rescue dogs all my life and I'd even written comedy books.
How does that fit in with being obsessed with humans who die then come back to life, desperate to devour human flesh?
I'm obsessed to the point of coming up with theories of how an actual zombie apocalypse could start. When I go for walks with my rescue dog I think about where would be the best place to be holed up if the Dead started to roam the earth. How secure would that place be? How would we get food?
How would we survive?
Seeing zombies through the eyes of Rick Grimes |
That's the one thing the zombie genre gives you - pure escapism.
Zombies give me something else to think about other than the problems we all face in our lives - nightmare neighbours, rude and obnoxious people who don't speak to you for 5 years and then out the blue accuse you of something nonsensical, constant worrying about money and the welfare of those we love.
Zombies are my escape from the true horrors of the world - could anyone have imagined a pandemic like the one we are experiencing - and daily existence.
Unlike real life, living humans who don't die and come back to life, with zombies you know where you are - avoid them or if they bite you and you die and then come back as one of them.
If only life were just as simple.
I also love to be scared - whether it's a movie, TV show, or in a novel but not in real life. There are enough things to scare you in real life.
I also love exploring how the zombie apocalypse brings out the best and worst in people. I enjoy the way anyone can be redeemed.
And that's one of the other things I enjoy most about the genre - how it explores the best and worst sides of human nature. Nothing shows someone's true colours as much as a zombie apocalypse.
Nothing shows someone's true colours as much as a zombie apocalypse |
SPOILER ALERT! - Don't read the next bit if you haven't seen the season finale of Fear The Walking Dead.
Just ask Morgan Jones who was thrown into the path of walkers by a so-called ally Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead.
**************
If you're interested in checking out my very Scottish zombie novel, here's it is -
One woman rages against the zombie hordes! Check it out here
Or, if you prefer direct links here -
Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/dp/
Stay safe everyone.
Sunday 9 May 2021
Writers without photo ID shouldn't submit
Over the years, I have seen some strange shall we say submission guidelines, but this one from Hawkshaw Press is the strangest one I have ever seen.
They only want writers over 40 years of age for submissions which is fair enough. Experience can make people better writers as they have more knowledge to draw upon and potentially wisdom. Or, at least that's the theory.
But the requirement they have set is one that millions of people like me won't be able to fulfill for financial and sometimes ethical reasons (like believing cars and planes cause way too much pollution) - they want photo ID.
To me that means a passport or a driving license. These are after all the only photo ID some people have as we didn't have the introduction of identity cards from the Westminster government - yet.
Some people may have a work ID that is photographic but for most people this requirement for photo ID is out of their reach and yet another barrier to getting underrepresented writers published.
What will writers be asked for next - DNA samples, fingerprints?
Tuesday 4 May 2021
The ouch diaries - Not writing
Wednesday 17 February 2021
Elisa Lam - What happened to her at the Hotel Cecil?
Elisa's disappearance captivated the world |
I watch a lot of true crime documentaries but you have got as under my skin as the mysterious case of Elisa Lam.
Few facts are known about her last hours. This is what is known.
Elisa was a 21-year-old student from Vancouver who travelled to Los Angeles to see America. An avid user of the social website Tumblr here who talked about being bipolar, she found the hotel on the internet and decided that she would stay there.
That decision would lead to her death.
The Hotel Cecil had a dark, dark history of murder, suspicious deaths, overdoses and suicides. It's been said that Night Stalker Richard Ramirez used to stay there and when one night he turned up covered in blood nobody batted an eyelid, such was the regular craziness at the Hotel Cecil.
Some people even believe it's haunted or cursed. Maybe both.
19 days after she went missing, Elisa's lifeless body was found naked in one of the water tanks on the hotel's roof. An autopsy was unable to establish how she died because of the damage the water had wreaked on her body.
After investigating her disappearance, police found hotel footage of Elisa acting erratically both inside and outside the elevator. At one point, she seemed to be talking to people or person's unknown outside the lift. In another, she's frantically pushing the button in the elevator as if desperate to get it to move.
The autopsy was long and drawn out. Ultimately it declared that this was a case of accidental drowning. There were no recreational drugs in her system or asthma.
Here's what I think happened to Elisa Lam. Please note - this is only what I believe happened -
My Theory
Elisa was scared. Scared of the noise she heard coming through the hotel walls. Scared of the men who tried to hit on her. On her last morning on earth, she came out of her room looking through the keyhole several times to make sure no one was about.
She was in the hallway when she heard someone coming. She frantically jumped in the elevator to avoid them, frantically banging on the lift buttons trying to get the door to close. She made the same mistake many of us make when we're in a hurry and unwittingly pressed the buttons to keep the door open for two minutes instead of the correct ones to close it.
She panicked
That's when she had a discussion with someone outside the lift. It freaked her out so much - as any interaction would in her highly stressed state - she ran up the stairs to the roof to avoid this person or persons.
When she got to the roof she thought she had evaded them but all she'd managed to do was leave herself with no escape or place to hide.
Then she saw the four water towers that supplied the Cecil Hotel's water. Not wanting to get her clothes wet, she hurriedly took them off and placed them on the edge of the water tank at a point she thought they couldn't be seen.
She climbed into the water tank
She then climbed into the water tank using her fingertips to try and desperately hold on to the top rim and waited for the person to leave. But she misjudged how far away the water was from the hatch or lid and as she tried to frantically keep herself from dropping into the water she accidentally pulled her clothes full in.
One item of clothing was heavy and sunk to the bottom. She went down to retrieve it and that's when she drowned because she couldn't get back out.
Her hiding place became her tomb.
This theory is pure conjecture on my part. We may never know the true story.
My agoraphobia
I have personal experience of living in the type of sheer terror I believe Elisa suffered in her last hours on earth. I suffer from agoraphobia - defined as the fear of wide, open spaces, to me, it's more about the fear I have of other people.
My agoraphobia was brought on by the extensive bullying I suffered throughout my teens. When I lived alone, I would go into hypervigilance mode and before I stepped outside I would check that the coast was clear. This would involve looking out the window, peering through keyholes, listening at the door for anyone coming. All part of the reconnaissance I would do before I would leave my home/room.
Her story draws you in
What we do know is that the Canadian student who wrote about the difficulties of growing up on Tumblr that she used like a Dear Diary, will never be forgotten. Through reading about her disappearance at the Cecil Hotel and watching the Netflix documentary, we feel as though we have gotten to know and care about her.
Elisa may have perished but she lives on in the minds of everyone who's heard her story and those who've read her amazing words on her blog.
I have no doubt that she would have made an amazing writer. Like so many talented people she died too soon.
Monday 8 February 2021
submitting to publishers and agents is tougher than writing the actual book
Wednesday 27 January 2021
Emergency lockdown pandemic dental kit and DIY dentistry
It seems I'm not alone in having problems with my teeth during lockdown. Following my post about a chipped tooth, a few people have asked me how I did the temporary filling and got it to stay in.
Here's how I did it (after many tries which made me realise dentists do really earn their money) -
Please be warned, this information is not aimed at replacing your dentist. It's for you if one of your fillings has fallen out and you need a temporary filling until you can visit a dentist which is virtually impossible for many people right now.
Get yourself an emergency dental kit. The best one I have found to be the best is Dentek and I bought it from Amazon.
The white material you use to replace a filling (the pic shows just a small piece) comes inside a very small plastic jar think dolls house size. Follow the instructions on the packet.
Tip - it's easy to over-estimate the amount of dental filling material you need. Aim for as small amount as you can get to replace the filling
When I applied the white filling material one of the first times, I used too much of the filling material and the end result was it caused a protruding bit on the tooth and hurt my mouth. The filling fell out and took part of my tooth with it. Ouch.
Tip - before you put the filling material in the tooth, brush your teeth and use a medicated mouthwash if possible. You want to avoid getting an infection.
If you do get an infection, your dentist may be able to prescribe antibiotics for you over the phone.
Tip - whatever you do, always make sure the filling material is in an airtight container to make sure it can be used again and doesn't dry out. I put the white filling material in the plastic jar that comes with the product and then inside a glass jar I got some herbal medicine in.
Tip - you will need a mirror. One of those small mirrors on a stick is ideal that you get in dental kits, so you can see see you have put the dental putty in correctly.
Good luck😊
.
Wednesday 16 December 2020
Going to the dentist during the pandemic Covid-19
The other night I was sitting having a cup of tea and reading through my latest work in progress when I felt the front of one my teeth break off.
In a total panic I managed to scoop up the bit of tooth before my dog ate it and put it in a tooth saving jar that had come with a temporary filling kit.
I had some crazy idea that the dentist would be able to glue the front of my tooth back in. Oh, how he laughed when I said that.
I spent a whole night in terror of the thought of having to 1, visit a dentist, or, 2, being unable to visit a dentist because of the pandemic.
As terrified as I am of the dentist I don't want to be left in agonizing pain.
I have a phobia about going to the dentist. The very thought of going fills me with utter terror. When I get there - and that's after I've tried to avoid going by using every trick in the book such as "this isn't really toothache I've got, it's just pain caused by TMJ" and "everytime I go to the dentist my teeth just get worse"- I always look for escape points.
Yes, I may be that crazy woman you saw running screaming out of the dentist that time with my long hair trailing behind me because I'm running that fast.
Tip - phone the dentist as early as you can. They have very limited appointments because they have to leave a set amount of time between patients.
I got up the next morning and started calling my dentist as soon as it opened not knowing what to expect.
It took a long time to get through to them and I thought that they might actually be closed and just have an answer machine on. Eventually I did get to speak to someone.
For those of you who need to go to the dentist urgently and don't know what to expect as I did, here is what happened to me.
Note - I live in Scotland and it might vary because of where you live but the principles will probably the same -
1. WHEN YOU GET THROUGH YOU WILL BE TRIAGED - most dentists are only seeing emergency patients. They need to make sure it genuinely is an emergency.
What constitutes an emergency?
When I did my research, I was told that a broken tooth, chipped tooth, abscess in a tooth, pain and uncontrollable bleeding in the mouth are all considered emergencies especially when they are accompanied by extreme pain.
Because I had a chipped tooth I qualified.
Note - you will only be offered an appointment after you have been taking through a series of questions to ensure you do not have covid-19. If you do you will be referred to hospital for treatment.
2. YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO TAKE ANYONE WITH YOU TO THE APPOINTMENT
Whenever I go to the dentist, my mum goes with me as if I'm child which I pretty much am when I hit the dentist chair. Because of the chance of infection I wasn't allowed to take anyone with me.
3. YOU MUST ARRIVE WEARING A MASK 😷😷😷😷. IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL BE TURNED AWAY.
I know that might sound crazy as you will have to remove the mask at one point but when you do take off your mask the dentist will be wearing a face mask or visor to limit the risk of infection.
4. YOU MUST COME TO THE APPOINTMENT DEAD ON TIME.
This means you can't be early or late. This is because appointments are scrupulously timed so that there is exactly one hour between them so that the room can can be properly ventilated with windows open before a new patient. The examination room also has to be washed and disinfected in between patients.
These measures are meant to stop the spread of covid-19.
5. WHEN YOU ARRIVE AT THE PRACTICE YOU WILL BE ASKED THE EXACT SAME QUESTIONS AGAIN TO MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT HAVE COVID-19.
This might seem tedious but they have to make sure you are not going to infect their staff.
6. DENTIST ARE EXTREMELY LIMITED IN THE TREATMENTS THEY CAN OFFER. THEY USUALLY CANNOT DO FILLINGS OR ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES DRILLING OR THE SPRAYING OF WATER INTO YOUR MOUTH.
Be warmed some dentists as can only do extractions. The first dentist I spoke to at my practice told me that was all he could do because of the limited PPE (personal protection equipment) he had.
Luckily, I was able to get an appointment with my own dentist who had better PPE.
7. FROM THE MOMENT YOU ENTER THE SURGERY UNTIL THE MOMENT YOU LEAVE, YOU SHOULD TRY AND NOT TOUCH ANYTHING AND WEAR YOUR MASK AT ALL TIMES except when the dentist says to remove it for the treatment.
Going to the dentist was scary but they were very nice. As long as you follow instructions you should be fine.
I was told that if my tooth was infected I would have been given root canal treatment over 2 visits.
Thankully in my case, my tooth was just chipped and there was no tooth decay. The dentist told me that the temporary filling I put in was fine and to leave it until the day he could do a filling. If it had not been for the virus I would have hugged him! Yes, I was that relieved.
Sunday 20 September 2020
How not to die like in the horror movies
CLOSE THOSE SHOWER CURTAINS, FOLKS.
MAKE YOUR KEYS FUMBLE PROOF
2.Don't drop your keys at your front door. No, put them in a key ring and keep it attached to your bag/purse. Less chance of some hooded killer coming up behind you with a knife and grabbing you after you've bent down and slitting your throat.
SAVE A DOG'S LIFE AND THEY'LL SAVE YOURS
3.Adopt a dog. A dog barking will make any potential creepy attacker think twice. Preferably adopt a decent-sized pup like my gorgeous goofball Harley and not one the size of a cat as a knife-wielding maniac is unlikely to be put off by a yapping dog they can tell is too small to bite them on the backside. He or she will save your life.
Last of all and probably most importantly,
5. try and keep fit so you have at least some chance of running away from a madman or woman. Run out of puff and you're dead.
ReplyForward |
Tuesday 18 August 2020
It's been fun... farewell to the Cannibal City book tour
This is the final day of the Cannibal City blog tour and it's been amazing. I'm so sad it has to end.
Thanks to everyone who has taken part. You've been amazing and I appreciate the time you spent reading and writing about Cannibal City.
In truth, I haven't been feeling too well recently mentally and at times I've struggled to get any writing done because of a complete loss of confidence.
Having this blog tour has given me a boost, so thanks to everyone for getting involved.
A special thanks to damppebbles.com for doing all the organising.
I'd like to thank today's two stops on the tour for having #CannibalCity and me on on their fantastic blogs.
Here's what @cheekypee27 had to say about Cannibal City -
This is book two in the series and I highly recommend you read book one Vile City first.
There is a serial killer on the loose and DI Waddell is on the case. This series is different in that Waddell gets help from his colleague Stevie- who’s in a coma.
I really liked this storyline. The twists and turns had me glued to my kindle. Can’t wait to read more from this author.
The double tragedy of Mary Duncan, 17, missing since 1976
Police Scotland photo |
Of all the cases I have ever read about that are unsolved this is one of the ones that has haunted me. A teenage girl with her whole life ahead of love and a baby daughter she adored at home, Mary Duncan would have lived a full life by now.
Tuesday 21 July 2020
How to stop your Nokia 2.3 phone turning its screen on when not in use
How I avoided doing a Ron Swanson |
Friday 17 July 2020
The coolest introduction to a book ever for How Kirsty gets her kicks
#BookTalk @ShotgunHoney @Gabino_Iglesias @beaujohnson44 @RonEarl @JenniferHillier @nikkidolson @tracy_reads79 @cinapelayo @JLFoster_ @ToriEldridge @sarahmchen @JTravisGrundon @JamesDFHannah @Curtis9980 @WellReadBeard @SteveGone58 @ItsMarkYall @Jimthomsen @ElizabethHeiter pic.twitter.com/Whv0ld4xUa— Mark Pelletier (@MPell2137) July 16, 2020
One-legged barmaid Kirsty is in a shit-load of trouble after she kills one of gangster Jimmy McPhee’s enforcers with a stiletto heel to the head after he gets a bit too handsie.
Now she’s on the run from the gang boss who loves to torture his victims before he kills them, with a safe-load of cash she stole from him and a hot gun. And she has company—a choirboy barman Jamie who just happens to be the only witness.
She needs to survive long enough to spend the cash.
How difficult can it be to catch a “daft wee lassie with one leg?” Glasgow hardman Jimmy McPhee is about to find out. Kirsty’s made a laughing stock out of him and he doesn’t like that one wee bit.
Bring together a one-legged barmaid who’s legged it with a safe load of dirty cash, a spurned gangster’s wife who wants a walking womb for her mail order sperm, a giant birthday cake and a mad chase to the end, and you’ve got How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks: one freaking minute at a time.
Monday 1 June 2020
3 ways to get more writing done during lockdown
one writer's office |
That's a common refrain I'm hearing from writing pals. It's understandable given the circumstances caused by the coronavirus.
But there are ways you can get some writing done.
Here are just four -
writing is work |
1. Don't tell your family that you're going to "get some writing done".
A funny thing happens to writers I know. When they tell their families they're off to do some writing they get constantly interrupted by kids asking where stuff is and partners coming in for a natter.
Unless you say you're working, your work will be treated like it's not work at all.
Not everything good comes in large packages |
Speech to text can get that writing done |
I use OneNote on my phone.
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