The thrill of getting it written down

At the moment, I’m completely wired; like I’ve drunk tonnes of cans of Red Bull. I’ve been working into the wee small hours on a piece of work for the past few weeks and finally it’s time to send my baby off into the world.

Before the fear begins as I wait for a response, I’m just so hyper that I’ve got it finished. Exhausted but hyper.

This would seem like a good time to have a rest, get lost in someone else’s books (reading is my favourite leisure activity), but instead I’ll get stuck into writing something else because this is the best time to write: when you’re psyched up by what you believe is work well done and haven’t had a no. Yet.

Leave the writing to a time when it feels like all you’ve been doing is getting doors slammed in your face and told you're not worthy, and it will be like trying to go the wrong way up an escalator.

Why you need to care about your characters

I currently know there's…

A naked man tied to a bed with a ball in his mouth as a femme fatale with murder in her heart struts up and down the room deciding what to do to him.

A detective who thinks he's going nuts because his pal, who's been in a catatonic state since he was stabbed multiple times by a broken bottle, has begun talking to him something which only happens when no one is around.

A woman and her boyfriend who has just got into a car with Britain's first white suicide bomber who's chosen the wrong day: the zombies have arrived.

No, there's no need to call the authorities. These people aren't real; they are characters in novels I'm writing.

Characters they may be but they have become real to me. I care about them. I care what happens to them, which means when I leave them in a precarious situation I want to see what happens to them. I want to see how they get out of the mess I put them in.

If you're starting to think your characters aren't good enough, ask yourself: do I care about them? If the answer is no then maybe it's time to rip them up and start again because if you don't care about your characters why would anyone else?

The dreaded author photograph

The updated version of my bullying book is out and I hate the author picture. I wanted to look authorative, stylish, approachable.

Instead I look like none of those things. My head is so big I look like a Gonk* (a small, furry soft toy).

I read somewhere that readers like authors to look friendly, so you should smile in the picture. I tried that and ended up looking like a grinning buffoon.

I took the smile down a notch and realised I looked like the kind of woman who buried men under her patio. 

Not my author photo

Speaking to other writers I know I’m not alone in dreading that author picture.

The autors who actually seem to like theirs, or, at least feel okay about theirs, have:

1. Gotten their photo done professionally.
2. Or been born looking like a model.

How did my photo turn out? Guess you’ll have to buy the book.

But, I will tell you one thing – the picture was taken on a bad day and from my bad side not my good side. And, oh, since it was taken I have morphed into Jennifer Aniston.

To read more about Gonks, visit the Gonk Appreciation Socity on Facebook.

Anger Management

I realised I had an anger management problem when, during a particularly bad week, I tried to throw the telly out the window (without even opening it first). The reason, I couldn’t get the parental lock off the telly and I needed to do my exercise DVD to get fit and de-stress. 

An extreme reaction? You betcha.

After that I told myself I would never get worked up again.

The next day an email brought me more problems. I tried to reply to it. My phone wouldn’t cooperate, so I threw that across the room. Luckily, it wasn’t broken.

These incidents left me realising that I had let things get on top of me. One of the reasons was I was in a hurry to get things done.

Once, I managed to calm down, I made myself a vow - that I'd never let myself get that worked up again. This meant doing a few things -

1. Not rushing to get things done. The people I was dealing with were taking all the time in the world, so why was I the one doing everything ASAP?
2. Taking time to sit down and watch some old comedy videos/DVDs. Well, they do say laughter is the best medicine. I howled with laughter through The Office up until the first part of the Christmas special that had me thinking 'is this rally comedy?'
3. Actually writing something I wanted to write instead of something I needed to. In my case that's The Waking Dead, my zombie novel set in Glasgow.
4. Chasing my rescue dog Benjy around the room and basically crawling about the floor with him. Ok, I looked stupid when anyone came in, but I had a good time.
5. Taking my Kalms. They have valerian that acts as a mild sedative.

Whatever you do to relax, remember you earnt it and you need it. Don't let it get to the stage where you're ready to throw a telly out a window that's not even opened.

The zombies are here. Here is the proof...

They're in Glasgow now, but they could be heading to you.

This is Generation Z, World War Z.

Noir Nation Call for Submissions

Do you write crime fiction? You may be the writer Noir Nation are looking for you.

They'd love to get some more stories (including graphic stories i.e. comics) from the UK for Issue 2  (Issue 1 will be available Sept 1, 2011). They start reading for issue 2 on Oct 1.

Note - until October 1st, submissions will not be accepted.

This is a paying market.

The contact is Alan alan@noirnation.com 

See http://noirnation.com for submission guidelines. http://www.facebook.com/noirnation https://twitter.com/#!/noirnation

Kick-starting Your Writing

Call it writer's block, call it hitting a brick wall. Whatever you call it, it's every writer's nightmare when the words won't come and writing anything is an effort.

We've all been there, but how do you dig yourself out of the hole you're in?

 

Here are some things I do you might find useful:

1. Stop at a question - is your character pregnant/dead/the killer/in a building that's about to collapse - leave your character on a cliff-hanger and you will want to know how that question is answered.

2. Leave your character in peril. They could be facing a gunman, about to fall down a cliff, be in a stolen car escaping from the cops.

3. Suggest characters are not who or what they seem to be. For example, the police come to protect your family in peril, but it becomes clear they are not the police.  This is a good plot move as it leaves a question - if they're not the police who are they and what's their motive.

4. Follow Stephen King's advice. Think about what should logically happen next. For instance, I have a character who's been manhandled into a van by 2 thugs and taken to a deserted location. She's saved when one of them turns out to be an undercover cop. My character didn't see it coming and to be honest, neither did I.

5. Write something ese. It doesn't matter what it is. This can get you writing again.

6. Watch something funny. You might find laughing inspires you.

7. Do some unusual research. I knew that I wanted my Kirsty character to jump out of a cake but when I tried to write it, it was dreadful. I did the research and it really helped me with the writing.

8. Ban yourself from writing anything at all for one day. There is nothing more guaranteed to make you want to do than telling yourself you can't.