5 Questions to ask before you submit that novel

Isn’t it time you put yourself in the reader’s place when you write?

Before you send your hard work off to a publisher or agent, try and put yourself in the footsteps of a reader.

Ask yourself these 5 questions –

1. If you were a reader would the opening engage you and make you want to read on?  If it wouldn’t then maybe you need a rewrite/a change of POV/to start in another place.
2. Are you relying on your brilliant fifth or eleventh chapter for them to say yes? If you are then you need to look at your opening again. Well, would you keep on reading a novel out of the prospect of it getting better later on? I know I wouldn’t. There are too many good books and not enough time.
3. Does every chapter move the story on? If it doesn’t, can you do without it? Who wants to read padding? 
4. Have you added something new to the genre, so a reader can say,’ yes, that book’s about a detective whose partner still helps him to solve crimes despite being in a catatonic state.’ Incidentally that’s what my WIP crime novel Vile City is about. You need something distinctive that’s your own.
5. Remember, that most of all publishers are looking for books they know people will want to read. Is your book one of them? If it’s not, try and rework it or start again. As difficult as that is – hey, I’ve been there, blubbing as I cut my wonderful prose – sometimes it is necessary. All of the best authors have manuscripts gathering dust in a drawer that won’t be published.

As I write this, I am waiting for the opportunity to gut my WIP so that when I ask myself those 5 questions I can come up with satisfying answers. Wish me luck. Think I am going to need it!

Isn't it time you got into international cinema?

The bizarre world of the ticket inspector in Kontroll

I love foreign language films that are so good that you almost forget you are reading subtitles. Movies so good that you remember them long after you watch them.

I wrote about 7 of the very best for Shadowlocked.com. If you like the sound of them the article includes links to trailers.

Check it out at  http://www.shadowlocked.com/201106021871/lists/7-foreign-language-films-that-are-worth-the-subtitles.html 

Writing Fit

Apparently living on 4 hours sleep, codeine (for a clicking jaw) & Irn Bru (the real national drink of Scotland) isn't healthy.

Who’d have thought it?  On the plus side I don’t smoke or drink, which probably makes me a bad writer type as many of the great writers did. 

So, I'm on a health kick.   

This consists of –

• Trying to wean myself off Irn Bru (the sugar laden drink from Barrs).  This isn’t easy.  The Bru is like crack cocaine to me.
• Starting to do more exercise. I walk for miles with the dog every day and have inner thigh muscles of steel, but that is clearly not enough. So, I have began doing one of the 10 Minute Solutions DVDs. Target Toning is meant to be toning for beginners.
• Trying to con myself into believing I don’t like chocolate. I have shown remarkable restraint. My proof is the big bar of Galaxy that’s still sitting in my kitchen.
• I have started listening to Paul McKenna’s I Can Make You Thin hypnosis tape. In the absence of him being willing to pay for extensive liposuction I listen to the tape. The weird thing is it works. The day after I’ve listened to it I find myself eating less.

Now, if only I had time to listen to the tape more.

It's stormy here on this island

Today on the Isle of Cumbrae where I live, I woke up to this -

And this....

Makes us realise just how small we all are.

Is there such a thing as method writing?

With method acting, actors try and create the same emotions in themselves as their characters feel. I try to do the same with my writing.

For instance
- if I have a character who is trapped and starving, I try to pretend I feel the same way. I will write that part whilst I'm hungry even if it means not eating anything for the rest of the day.

- if my character is thirsty, even if I  need a drink I won't take one.

- if they're scared I will try to go back to a time in my life when I was also scared. I will go to that place in my head and try and recreate it. How did I feel, what was the helplessness like, what range of emotions did I go through, did the fear have a smell, a taste? How did my mind and my body react to it?

- if they're cold, then I will be cold. We're in this together - me and the character I've created, so why should I sit in comfort whilst they suffer? 

The Versatile blogger award - Thanks Carol

Many thanks to Carol for passing on the Versatile Blogger Award.  In line with tradition, I'm listing 7 (Hopefully) interesting things about myself. 

1-I love zombie movies. The gorier the better and am working on a zombie novel. The weird thing is I'm a vegetarian and can think of nothing worse than being a zombie. 

2-I thought I'd hit it big when I invented a football themed boardgame when I was 19. The company loved it and were talking enough money for me to buy a flat, but then they went bust.

3-I have recently discovered Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer books and I absolutely love them. His dialogue is so wonderful you don't need loads of speech tags.

4-My biggest regret in life was not getting to interview Hurricane Higgins the snooker player. I had an interview set up via his agent (this is over ten years ago, now) when he did one of his famous walkabouts and couldn't be found.

5-I live in Scotland (on an island called the Isle of Cumbrae) and think its the most beautiful country in the world. I would never leave it to live anywhere else. I have nightmares of dying outside my beloved country and not being able to get home. I also love my country's sense of humour. We laugh at everything.

6-I used to work in a pyschiatric hospital laundry. One day a colleague found a scalpel in a doctor's coat and sliced off her finger.

7-I love the gory books that Shaun Hutson writes. Books like Slugs and Relics. His books have very little characterisation, but boy do they entertain. That to me should be the one thing books should be - entertaining.

Can The Office survive without Steve Carell?

I hope the show can survive without Steve Carell, but its doubtful.

To my mind, Will Ferrell, has been a disappintment and the last episode (the first without Carell was truly awful). In fact, I cheered when DeAngelo Vickers hurt himself. 

Here's what some of the critics thought of Ferrell's first outing in The Office - http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/will-ferrell-office-what-critics-178751

I thought it was a fitting end to Michael Scott's time at in The Office, but could they have ended it some other way?

I think so.

Check out my piece at Shadowlocked.com for some ideas - http://www.shadowlocked.com/201105081800/lists/4-ways-steve-carells-time-on-the-office-could-have-ended.html 

What do you think? How would you have ended Michael Scotts' time on the show?

Should he be with Holly or Dwight? Well, the man love has always been there.

Could Jan have come back on the scene, baby in tow, saying its Michael's?

The importance of hanging onto your copyright

Recently, I received a contract from one of my existing book publishers. They wanted me to update my book with them and I thought,’ great, that’ll get it out to a whole new audience.’ 

Yes, the book is still in print, but when I wrote it back in 2004, social networking meant your flesh and blood friends, and not those you met over the internet on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter.

When I got the contract, buried amongst all those clauses you need a lawyer to decipher, was one that gave the publisher full copyright of my work.

As am author, you should NEVER give away full copyright unless you are being paid a very good, upfront fee that makes your hard work worthwhile. This may happen if you are commissioned to write a book by a publisher who has a book in mind that they want you to write. 

Why shouldn't you make money from your own work?

My other advice about contracts would be –

1-If you live in the UK, join the Society of Authors. If you live elsewhere in the world, try and find out if there is a similar organisation for writers/authors.  Once you join the SOA, they will go through all your contracts with you by email or post.  If you have an agent (a good one), you won’t need to do this as they will vet contracts on your behalf.

2-If you don’t understand a phrase, a clause or even a word in a contract, ALWAYS ask.  Don’t be ashamed that you don’t know. You’re not a lawyer (hey, if only, they earn lots), you’re a writer.

3-Make sure you keep your Authors’ Licensing and Collecting Society cash. Publishers are trying to make a grab for half that cash.  It’s yours.  Don’t let them.

If you haven’t joined the ALCS, here’s a link to their website - http://www.alcs.co.uk/

What you have to do is register with them and then register all your books.  One a year, usually in February, if anyone has photocopied from your book in a publics library or somewhere else, you will get money.

4-Register your books with the Public Lending Right (sorry, it’s UK only).  You can check out the PLR here - http://www.plr.uk.com/

With this scheme, you register the books you wrote and you get paid every time someone takes it out of the library. Unless you are very popular, don’t expect too much cash. 

They have some interesting information on the site, including details of the most borrowed books in Britain. 

Note, sadly the current UK government in their wisdom have decided that the PLR body will be abolished and ‘the statutory responsibility for administering the PLR Scheme will be transferred to another existing publicly-funded body.’ – Source, the PLR website. 

You can read more about the PLR here - http://www.plr.uk.com/allaboutplr/news/whatsNew.htm#141010

How things could have been more interesting at the royal wedding

Katie Price turns up for her wedding to Prince William

Prince William marries Kate Price, alias Jordan. She insists upon bringing her own throne; a chavvy, fluffy pink one.

Prince Harry turns up at the Cathedral hair eschew, bleary eyed and clearly hung over and says: ‘F*** sake, is that the time?’

Prince Philip nods off during the ceremony and can be heard snoring loudly. When the Queen gives him a nudge, he snaps,’ Give me peace, woman.’

When the happy couple cut the cake, Fergie jumps out, completely starkers. (see my post on pop out cakes to read how that can be done)

Princess Michael of Kent can be heard offering to pave the way for a world first exclusive interview with the newly wed ‘for a fee.’

Prince Andrew turns up in a chopper, very late and lands it right in the middle of the wedding pics. 

What would have happened if Cameron had said ‘calm down, dear’ to me...

I've thought long and hard about it, and this is what I've come up with....

Things I hate/don’t understand about computers…

Have you ever felt like doing this?*

Okay, the technological revolution has made many things easier. The world has become a smaller place thanks to the World Wide Web.

There’s no need to pick up the phone to talk to people. No email, chat, tweet or IM instead.

And, if we really want to know about corrupt regimes throughout the world, we can hear from the people who suffer under them.

Yet, there are things about computers that have you wanting to chuck them out the window. Like computer messages for instance.

Hate the things. Especially when they make no sense or muck up my computer like these -

‘You have a storage device connected.’

Where? Is some clandestine organisation wirelessly spying on my computer? I have NO storage devices connected. Get lost you creepy message you.

‘You have Windows Updates.’

Supposedly they’re meant to make your computer run smoothly (especially those ‘crucial’ updates, which are needed because Microsoft thought wouldn’t it be a jolly good idea if people could access their computers from other computers using ‘remote access’ which funnily enough also allows other people to access their computers too), but whenever I download any, a few things tend to happen –

My computer slows down

My computer crashes

My computer slows down

My computer crashes

‘The following drive is in use.’

I usually get this when I try and remove a flash drive, going through the rigmarole of disconnecting it the way you are meant to, by stopping the drive and then taking it out. It’s not in use, yet it says it is. What a pain.

‘Windows is shutting down.’

Only it’s taking ages. In that time you have had a bath, done the washing up and sorted out that problem with the Ozone layer, and still that message is there for no apparent reason. Mad? It makes me want to give the computer a kicking.

*Note - This post is in no way an endorsement that you smash your computer in with a hammer. Do it and you are on your own,

I'm not planning a real murder, honest.

Research for a novel can be varied. So far this month, I have looked into the following:

·         how easy it would be for a woman to jump out of cake (these cakes are called pop out cakes)

·         where a woman would keep a gun as she jumped out the cake

·         whether a garlic press can be used on a certain part of the male anatomy

·         how to dispose of a body in a way it can never be found

It’s no wonder that I permanently carry my Society of Authors card around with me.

Well, if you caught someone doing that kind of research would you not think they were up to no good?

Only writing, honest officer.

Increasing the word count of your novel

I’m currently scribbling away trying to bring the word count of my novella How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks up by about 17,000 words. At first it seemed like an arduous task.

How do you expand on a high octane thriller, without dragging the pace down to snail level? 

Then I had a few Eureka moments. Hopefully they may be of some help to you if you find your word count is too short -

1-Think what could I have done differently in that scene to add an extra twist?  For instance, what if instead of escaping she’d fallen at the last moment? What if she saw someone or something she shouldn’t have?  Trip your character up and let them find a way out. 

2-Use Stephen King’s advice and think ‘what should happen next’ and do the opposite of what you’ve done. This may take you down a whole new story arc. 

3-Could you introduce a new character? Someone who could shake things up a bit? I did just that and it took my book down a different road.

4-Have a blast from the past. Does someone, or something come back to haunt your character? A previous crime or misdeed, an abusive parent or partner, someone who should be dead (possibly because your character killed them)? Be as creative as possible without making completely unrealistic.

5- Expand on a subplot. Have you really gone as far as you could with that plot, or did you abandon it too soon in favour of your main one? 

Things not to do –

1-Change abbreviations like he’s and she’d to he is and she had. This sounds clumsy, not to mention too wordy. 

2-Pad out with tonnes of description. There’s nothing more liable to put readers off than two pages describing one tree. What makes you skip a page will make you reader skip too. Every word needs to earn its place. 

3-Come up with something that simply doesn’t fit just for the sake of it. This could be a character who died coming back to life or acting completely out of character. Anything you write has to be realistic and not pie in the sky or too contrived.

6 of the Best TV Kill Scenes




One of my all-time favourite characters in any TV show, is Omar Little. Man, was he a fantastic creation. He was on one of the best ever scenes on TV when he and Brother Mouzone went after Stringer Bell and gunned him down.

Omar and Brother Mouzone

I included that scene in a piece for Shadowlocked about the best TV kills - http://www.shadowlocked.com/201104101706/lists/six-of-the-best-tv-kill-scenes.html

What kill have I missed?

If you're not familar with Omar (boy have you missed out big time) then read about him here - http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2008/jul/19/television.wire

The nightmare of submitting to agents

I sent the first two submissions off to agents today and now the long wait begins. I know people say that getting an agent is more difficult than getting a publisher. I know it's like being a needle in a haystack. 

But, your work is doing nothing lying on that desk or filed away on your computer.  There comes a time when you have to let your baby go.

I've started biting my nails and eating lots of chocolate (hey, it should be available on the NHS). The terror of the 'send' button is with me every step of the way. But, we authors must be brave as our manuscript takes its tentative steps towards publication.

P.S. While I was searching for agents, one of the sites kindly put up a sample agency contract. It's here if you want a peek.

Who inspires your characters?

When I was writing How Kirsty Got Her Kicks, I wanted my main character to be gutsy; the kind of woman every women wants to be - who doesn't take any nonsense from anyone.

There are women on TV who I looked to for inspiration. Women like Nikita from La Femme Nikita and Sydney Bristow from Alias, and believe it or not, Janice Soprano. Yes right. Who can possibly resist someone whose response from her brutal boyfriend who says 'what ya gonna do now, cry,' is to reach for her gun?

Relive her proudest moment on YouTube

In celebration of this I wrote an piece for Shadowlocked.com on Kick Ass Angels. Who have I missed?

Dealing with backstory

It can be so easy to fall into the trap of writing too much backstory. Aren't we all a product of what has gone on before in our lives? Therefore, it would follow that our characters are the same.

Liz Roberts who whittled down the Debut Dagger entries – ‘Many entries started off very well – and then ran the reader into the literary equivalent of a brick wall around page 3 or 4, because they couldn’t resist putting in a lot of backstory.’

The best piece of advice I have read came from literary agent Carole Blake in From pitch to publication -
'In order to illustrate a character trait, or a backstory element, demonstrate it with a scene, a snippet of dialogue, but don’t have the narrative address the reader like a newsreader reading facts.'

Editing that novel

I’m now at that scary stage of writing where the story is all done and the plots have come to a conclusion. Now it’s for the scary part – the final edit. 

I say scary because after this it will be time to actually submit the thing. That means contacting agents and publishers.

Here are some of the things I have learnt about editing –

• DON’T over edit. It can be easy to fall into that trap and lose the power of what you have written.
• ALWAYS keep your work before the edit. That way if you want to change it back to how it was, you have your original and don’t end up having to resurrect it from memory.
• LIMIT the use of words like well like, only, just, had, seem, seemed, seems (better to say something is) and adjectives with ly at the end (trust me, they get monotonous).
• If you keep on having to say who is speaking when it’s a regular character, then you need to work on your characterisation. People should know who is speaking by how they say what they say.
• Take time out from editing to read. Good writers need to read.
• ALWAYS print out for the final edit and edit by hand the old fashioned way, with a pan. You will be amazed at what you miss when you do it on a computer screen. Very amazed.
• READ OUT what you have written to yourself to make sure it reads right. You can spot things that way. I try a bit of method acting as well reading it as though as though I am that character and try and act as they do (in my head). Weird and I may be nuts, but it works for me.

What an agent does

At the moment, I am obsessed with looking at agents - mianly because I want to get one.

I came across this excellent piece in Mslexia - http://www.mslexia.co.uk/getpublished/getpublished_agents.php

Not only does it tell you whether you need an agent (not enough money in poetry and short stories apparently), but it tells you what an agent does. And, no, they do much more than take a cut of your earnings.

And, there's interviews with six very different agents who offer advice on how best to approch them.

The blurb for Vile City

I'm working on the final edit now and trying to figure out where to send it. But, here's the blurb (here's hoping you'll see something similar on the back of a book soon) -

The women of Glasgow have real reason to be afraid.  A man dubbed ‘the Glasgow Grabber’ is on the loose and they are his prey. 

DI Waddell is the detective called in to save the day.  But, he has problems of his own. 

The paperwork on his desk is piling up faster than the knickers at a porn shoot, he’s a borderline diabetic addicted to Irn Bru, and to top it all, he’s been lumbered with a Hen Broon look-alike with glasses because his finest detective and friend Stevie is languishing in a psychiatric hospital.  And don’t even get him started on his pompous, ex-Army boss and the pain in the bahookie hack who comes round every time she smells the scent of human suffering. 

The last thing Waddell needs is the country’s biggest case to land on his lap. 

Driven by the belief that third victim, the plucky Shelley Craig is still alive Waddell is in a desperate race against time to uncover the truth behind the abductions and to save her.  To do that, he and his team must delve into the seedy underbelly of Scotland’s swingers’ scene and a sick world where women are tricked into the sex trade and traded like cattle.    

Along the way Waddell will discover one thing is true: the female of the species is more deadly than the male.    

Vile City is a tale of criminal skulduggery, set in a city Waddell once loved, but is fast growing to despise because of all the darkness he sees. 

It finally arrived...the Pitlochry Quaich

Yesterday it arrived, an oddly shaped package and I thought 'what on earth is this?' Then I opened it and out popped the Pitlochry Quaich. Until I held it in my hands I didn't believe I had actually won the Scottish Association of Writers award for a crime novel.

Thanks go to the wonderful Barbara Hammond at Writers' Umbrella for ensuring the trophy got to me as I was unable to attend because of personal reasons.

Why you don't need/want and agent

To balance out the last post on why you need an agent, I thought I would include a link to a piece top-selling author Stephen Leather wrote on his website about agents. Well, I think calling them 'scum-sucking parasites' is hardly a recommendation.

To visit his list of books, click on this book

To read more, just go to his website page at http://www.stephenleather.com/howto.html and go down to the blue box that says 'If you want an agent click here' and a word doc called 'Agents' will appear. It lists dozens of them.

Happy hunting.

Why you need an agent

I found this great piece on why you need an agent that I think is a must for any writer - http://editorialass.blogspot.com/2008/09/why-you-should-never-submit-unagented.html

As someone who hopes to get one soon, I found this piece made me even more motivated to become a represented writer. Not least of all because I am terrible at this contract stuff.

I have probably have signed one giving my soul to the devil and not noticed!

Here's another good piece I found on the pet peeves of literary agents - http://www.redroom.com/blog/ninaamir/agent-reveals-pet-peeves-so-writers-can-avoid-them

Can't believe I won the Pitlochry Quaich for a crime novel

Today I got a phone call. At first I thought it was one of those nuisance callers we've been getting recently who want to sell you a conservatory (we live in a flat), a new kitchen (our flat is rented), a trip to the Moon (too busy). So, I picked up the phone with a great deal of trepidation and guess what, it was good news.


I have won the Pitlochry Quaich for the opening and synopsis of my crime novel Vile City.


I can't believe it and am currently in a state of shock.


I'd like to thank Writers' Umbrella, the online writing group I belong to. It was through them that I was eligible for this competition.

Simon Kernick king of the thriller

I've just finished Simon Kernick's latest book The Payback. It's the third book about Dennis Milne; one of my all time favourite fictional characters.

I've been a long time fan of the man and was interested to see the five of his all time favourite thrillers.

Have a peak and ask yourself if they would on your list and if not what would you have instead -
http://tinyurl.com/6c4oddc
Thanks go to castlepilot for tweeting me the link.

Extreme acting Christian Bale style

Extreme acting to me is when an actor takes extreme measures in order to play a role. I thought it would be an interesting topic, so I wrote a piece on it for Shadowlocked.  

Wondered who I’ve managed to miss out? You see, the trouble with lists as that you ALWAYS manage to leave someone out.

Craving human flesh! Yikes!

Just doing some research for my book, Living Cruelty Free, which I’ve just agreed to write for Greatest Guides. This is a subject I am really passionate about, as I've been a vegetarian for 25 years. The book is scheduled for release in December 30th, 2011.

I came across a page that had ‘craving human flesh. Please help!’ written at the bottom of it.

Did I miss the zombie invasion, or what?

Should all story loose ends be tied up in your novel?

That’s the quandary I have right now. I am at the stage with my first full length novel, Vile City, where I am doing the final edit before trying to get it published.

My story concerns three women who have been abducted in Glasgow. Whilst the whereabouts of one is well known as it’s her story that makes up about a third of the book, the fate of the other two isn’t.

What have I decided? At the moment I am starting to think that in real life things are not always tied up nicely in a wee bow. Sometimes there is no clear resolution or closure.

But should a novel give readers the closure they might not get in real life? If they don’t, will they be left feeling cheated?

What do I do? My mind keeps going back and forth like a tennis ball hit by an angry Andy Murray.

When I did a quick search on the Internet about this, these are the ones I looked at -

http://preview.tinyurl.com/64avo6j

http://tinyurl.com/6go8y67

http://tinyurl.com/alt6p9

 

Working on the dreaded synopsis...

and I am slowly going insane. I would rather walk over broken glass than write a synopsis. But they are essential to sell a book to a publisher or agent. They tell them what the book is about and let them know what to expect. 

I posted on the Writers' News Talkback site and other writers have been very helpful with their advice.

Maybe I will master the nightmare that is the synopsis before I tear my hair out.

In the meatime, I have found author Lisa Gardiner's site to be a great help. Visit her Conquering the Dreaded Synopsis series of articles here - http://lisagardner.com/writers-toolbox.

Wish I was this bright eyed and bushy tailed...

But, after a night working away into the wee small hours, I am currently lying in a crumpled heap.

Crime Scenes

It's important to get things right when you're writing a novel. That's why crime scene pics can be a good idea.

As Vile City opens, Shelley Craig has just got off the bus with her boyfriend Stuart. He goes down an alleyway to relieve himself and when he hasn't returned minutes later she goes looking for him. That's when she is abducted.

Thanks go to my crime scene snapper.

Here's the video.

Is it a UFO?

Today the weather has been pretty wild on our island of the Isle of Cumbrae. Howling gales and sweeping rain.

And we spotted a UFO...

Well, kind of.

Look what I found

Combing through my novel, I realise I need to end this ‘look’ and ‘looked’ obsession. It’s getting out of hand.

I also must ditch the fixation with eyes being the window to the soul when there are so many ways of telling how a character feels or reacts.   

Body language for starters - how are their shoulders, stooped, thrown back like it's the 80's and they are wearing shoulder pads, are they moving them around because they're stiff?

Brain Dead Entertainment

My first film review has been posted on fantastic site shadowlocked.com. If you are considering watching this movie, please, please read my review as you need to be warned.

If you like big breasted women who like to take their tops off at every opportunity, appalling acting and a seriously bad script, watch Brain Dead. Go on. I dare you.



One of my favourite scenes in the movie, because it killed off yet another bad actor



Ramblings of a Frustrated Crime Writer: About Me

Ramblings of a Frustrated Crime Writer: About Me: "I began contributing to magazines when I was 15-years-old and had my first piece in Jackie magazine - a piece on superstitions. From then ..."

Things not to say in an exercise video/DVD

How energising is exercise?

Trying to get fit and lose a bit of weight, so have taken to using exercise tapes.  Here are some of the phrases I have grown to despise.

1- 'Feel the burn' - usually when I am holding my abs in and trying not to topple over.

2- 'This is one of my favourites' - unless the instructor is talking about a scrumptious cream cake, I don't want to know this exercise that is killing me is one the chiselled she man or he man loves.

3- 'This will tighten you buns' - buns is an American word.  I hear it and I think of the iced bun I can't have.

4- 'You did well today' - How do you know I actually did anything?  I could have passed out from the exertion.

5- 'Looking good girl' - Naw.  I actually look like a beached whale that's just given birth.

Let’s get physical (I'd rather not)

Don’t know about you, but because I spend so much time sitting down writing away, my waistline has started to suffer.  So, I have begun a new fitness regime and it is killing me. 

Wouldn’t it be fantastic if there was a pill you could take that would absorb most of the calories from your food?  Well, when I say food I actually mean chocolate. 

Until that happens, I'm stuck with exercising.  I use the Ten Minute Solution DVDs, because ten minutes at a time is about all I can take before I'm dog tired.

Do you use certain words too much?

I read about author Jane Lovering putting her writing through the wordle.net site in this month’s Writing Magazine. 

Wordle creates a word cloud of your writing with the words you use the most highlighted and is a brilliant site. 

When I used it, the words it highlighted were – like, one, even, know, feel, away and smile.  Guess it’s time to comb that manuscript. 

Doctor Who cash

I’m a huge fan of Doctor Who (at least I was when David Tennant was the Doctor) and came across copies of the money they made especially for The Runaway Bride episode.

The David Tennant notes are so good I wanted to share them with you. 

Write a winning title

Stressing over what to call that novel?  Worried that your title lacks the oomph needed to make it stand out?

Using the Lulu Titlescorer may not be the answer. 

My titles – Vile City (my work in progress) and How Kirsty Gets Her Kicks (scheduled for publication by Pulp Press in March 2012) were disappointingly low.  So, I tried some of the bestselling books of all time and they didn’t fair much better.

But, hey it’s a bit of fun.  Check it out here -

http://www.lulu.com/titlescorer/index.php

Would it really have happened to Lisa Dingle?

I’ve just finished watching Emmerdale and can’t believe how ridiculous the storyline is about Lisa Dingle being raped by creepy Derek in the factory where they were working after hours.

The reason I’m shaking my head is because a woman with Lisa Dingle’s strength of character, who is no stranger to dealing with recalcitrant males (husband Zak is probably more scared of her than he is of any man, and for good reason) would have battered his melt in*.

* smashed his face in/battered him/ handed him his teeth on a plate.  

How many of us would have cheered if Derek had been sent packing with a bloody nose/a part of his anatomy missing? 

This storyline is yet another example of the way women are treated in fiction. They are either cunning whores who marry men for their money, or hapless victims of depraved crimes.

I know that women are raped and it’s a sickening crime, which should carry the death penalty in my opinion or lead to castration, but there are just as many women who fight off their would be attackers. I know this because I’ve done it myself and a straw poll of friends showed we have all had experiences of fending off unwanted advances – usually with a boot in the balls. 

I’m delighted that my first novel, which will be published this year by Pulp Press, will feature a thoroughly modern woman who is flesh and blood and more in keeping with today’s women – one who doesn’t take any nonsense from anyone.